Not Another Generation Fic!
by PrincessRose1
Summary: Daichi, Jatsuma and Makoto might have turned out normal...if their parents hadn't been Ranma and Akane. If you like lovehate relationships, gender confusion, and just plain silliness then you are in the right place!
1. Introduction to Madness

**NOT ANOTHER GENERATION FIC!**

Now I know what you're thinking, it's all been done right? Well the truth of the matter is I could never find a generation fic quite to my liking. So, why not write one myself? So this is the point where most people will just leave, but if you're one of the few who decided to put up with my stupid ramblings and read another stupid generation fic, SUCKER! If you like love/hate relationships, gender confusion, and just plain silliness then you are in the right place!

Disclaimer: I'm only gonna say this once so pay close attention. I AM RUMIKO TAKAHASHI! Now that that's out of the way you can take what my fic says as law! (This is a joke.) Okay so I'm not Rumiko Takahashi, so sue me. (Don't really!) I don't own Ranma ½. Actually I don't _really_ own some of the names of the original characters. Don't hurt me! I'm bad with names! Do you have any idea how long it took to come up with good names! Well, I'm sure you're sick of this.

**INTRODUCTION TO MADNESS**

Ranma pushed the covers away, sat up and stretched in bed. Outside the window there was not a single cloud in the sky. The warm sun was washing over the Tendo Dojo and filling his room with light. Ranma could smell the breakfast his wife Akane was cooking downstairs and his stomach growled loudly.

"Will you be getting up soon sir?" Ryoga stood at the doorway wearing a butler uniform. He was holding a freshly starched bathrobe on a hanger. "Or would you prefer breakfast in bed this morning?"

"That's quite alright Chives." Ranma chortled; he fancied a meeting with his lovely wife and children over a good meal. He rose from bed, took the robe and pulled it over his red silk pajamas. He walked down the hall towards the dinning area with Ryoga at his heels awaiting another order.

The house was well furnished with caravan rugs and ornate furniture. "Ah, the success of the dojo has brought us so much wealth." Ranma sighed. "Even after giving so much to charity, I hardly know what to do with it all."

"That's too bad sir." Ryoga seemed genuinely concerned.

"Good morning honey!" Akane stuck her head out of the kitchen. "Breakfast is almost done. How do omelets sound?"

"Fantastic!" Ranma gave his wife a quick kiss before going into the dinning room, Ryoga still at his heels. Sitting at the table were three teenagers dressed in freshly pressed school uniforms, two boys and one girl.

"Good morning Father!" They chanted. "Good morning kids!" Ranma greeted them as he sat down. "I trust you are all looking forward to the martial arts tournament this weekend?"

"Very much so!" They chanted back. "No need to worry father!" The oldest, a boy with messy short black hair, said. "I will be sure to bring honor to the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts!"

"I'm sure you will Daichi." Ranma smiled. "Oh if only your dear grandfather could see you now." Ranma looked at a picture of Genma that was sitting on the table. "We really should go visit his grave."

"Breakfast is served!" Akane came in carrying a large tray filled not only with omelets, but also bacon, sausage, toast, biscuits, waffles, and a pitcher of orange juice.

"Chives!" Ranma yelled.

Ryoga stood at attention, "Yes sir?"

"Don't make Akane carry that tray! Get it for her." He waved his hand in Akane's direction. "Yes of course." Ryoga walked up to Akane, who willingly handed him the tray.

"You're right Ranma. I shouldn't strain myself so much." She smiled at her husband. He still looked just as young and handsome as the day they had first meet. She was falling in love all over again!

A crash rang through the room as Ryoga turned the wrong way with the tray and knocked over a Ming vase that was next to Genma's picture. The children gasped loudly.

"Oh no!" Ryoga tried franticly to piece the vase back together, but it was in vain. "Please forgive me!" He cried. "I'm not worthy to be you're butler!" He dissolved into tears.

"It's okay Chives." Akane consoled him. "You're only a lying pig who deceived me for years." She giggled. Then she started laughing.

"Yeah, you're right." Ryoga seemed to perk up, and then he started laughing along with Akane. Ranma and the children joined in. The loud and joyous laughter rang through the house, the neighborhood, and the world. Yes, life was perfect. But this was not Ranma's life.

_IN THE REAL WORLD_

Ranma rolled over and fell out of bed, tangled in the sheets. He could still hear laughter in his head, as if it were mocking him.

"Ranma! Are you going to lie in bed all day? The kids are just about to leave for school!" Akane called from downstairs.

Ranma dragged himself up and scratched his head; he had been having the nicest dream but it was quickly slipping away from his memory. Then he remembered something.

"Don't let them go yet!" He ran down stairs and into the dinning room where Akane, Soun, three teenagers and a panda were sitting at the table, poking at burnt eggs.

"You three remember what's after school today, right?" Ranma asked in an almost threatening tone as he sat down between Akane and Genma.

He was met with blank faces.

"Oh! I've got a date." One boy said rather smugly. He had long brown hair tied into a ponytail. The sleeves of his school uniform were rolled up to his elbows and his jacket was left unbuttoned. Overall he was a very attractive boy.

"Not anymore you don't! Jatsuma, we've got training this afternoon!"

"But, Dad! I've got to walk Iikiba home! Plus I need to make sure he gets a good dinner!" The girl whined. She had long red hair pulled into a ponytail near the top of her head.

"Makoto, I'm sure he can mange without you for a while." Ranma sighed.

"And I've got Science club!" Daichi insisted, adding to the argument.

"Science club! Daichi, this is your future here. When you inherit the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts you have to be ready!"

"I agree son, they have been slacking off." Soun said. Genma held up a sigh that said, 'Sock it to 'um!'

"Maybe today just isn't a good day." Akane said as she spooned some eggs onto Ranma's plate.

"But I told them last week! They should be training every day!" Ranma looked at his eggs questioningly. He picked up his chopsticks and started poking at them.

"They have lives of their own you know!" Akane said as she set the bowl holding the eggs back on the table.

"I know! But training should still be priority!"

"But you can't force them and…and are you going to eat those or not?" Akane yelled. Ranma was taking an exceptionally long time smelling the bit of egg in his chopsticks.

"I'm still deciding." He said.

"Would you just eat? You haven't even given them a chance yet!" Akane insisted. Behind her Jatsuma waved his hands in warning. Even if his father was being unreasonable he still didn't disserve to eat that.

"Whoa! Look at the time! You kids better get going! I'll walk you to the door!" Ranma and the kids quickly stood up and raced into the hall.

"Hold it!" Akane grabbed the back of Ranma's shirt as Daichi, Jatsuma and Makoto ran on ahead. Ranma sighed and succumbed to the inevitable; most of his taste buds had died years ago anyway.

"Fine! I'll taste it!" He pulled his plate closer and gobbled down a few bites of egg quickly, hoping to avoid the taste. It actually wasn't bad by Akane's standards. His eyes only watered a little bit as he stood up again.

"I really should go see them off." He started walking towards the hall.

"Wait! You didn't tell me how you liked them!" Akane said.

"Actually, they weren't too bad." Ranma said as he held back a gag reflex. Akane smiled. "Really? You liked them?"

"Uh, yeah." Ranma smiled back. It's the thought that counts, right?

"Oh good! Because I made the kids' lunch today." She handed three paper sacks to Ranma. "Could you give these to them?"

"Okay." Ranma took the sacks and walked into the hall where the three kids were putting on their shoes.

"Thanks for abandoning me." Ranma said, glaring at them.

"Sorry Dad, every man for himself." Jatsuma said as he turned the doorknob. Ranma reached forward and pushed the door shut before he could walk out. "Now where are you three going to be this afternoon?" He asked again in his almost threatening tone.

Jatsuma rolled his eyes. "Back here."

Daichi looked at his feet angrily then sighed. "Back here."

Makoto just glared at her father and said grudgingly. "Back here."

Ranma smiled. "Great! Now here's you're lunch." He held out the paper bags.

"Thanks!" Jatsuma said without thinking. Then Daichi looked at the bags closely, "Did Mom make these?"

Ranma hesitated. "Um, yes."

All three fell into fits of fake gagging and barfing. Ranma tried not to laugh, but he couldn't help it. "Alright! Alright, I get the picture!" He laughed. "I know it's bad! You don't have to eat it! Just take it!" He pushed the lunches into their hands. That was when he noticed something that made him stop laughing immediately.

Akane was standing next to the kitchen door, holding a frying pan covered in soapsuds and burn marks. Angry energy waves were flying off her as she glared in their direction. Ranma knew it was too late to salvage the situation.

"Oh, hey Akane." Ranma said nervously. The three teens froze. Akane wouldn't hit them like she did Dad, but she would still ground them in an instant. They didn't have to take Dad seriously, but when Mom was mad it was too risky.

"You said you liked it." Akane said angrily. She started walking towards them. Daichi, Jatsuma and Makoto scrambled out the front door as quickly as they could. "Bye, see you later!" Makoto called.

"It's okay Akane." Ranma said, trying to calm her down. "I mean, I don't like most of your food anyway!" That had slipped out.

"Ranma you jerk!" She swung the frying pan at him but he jumped over her head and ran away up the stairs. "Get back here!" She yelled as she ran after him.

Daichi, Jatsuma and Makoto watched from the street. They could hear the crashing and yelling from the house. "Phew, made it out just in time." Daichi sighed and looked at his watch; there was still forty-five minutes before school started.

"I better go pick up Iikiba." Makoto said. "I hope I'm not too late." She ran off up the street, her ponytail swinging in the gentle breeze.

"Why does she bother with him?" Daichi asked as he and Jatsuma walked in the other direction towards school.

"I guess true love conquers all obstacles." Jatsuma said knowingly. "That reminds me, I need to break up with Luffa."

"What? But you two just started going out again last week!"

"Yeah, but Eri asked me out the other day! I couldn't just turn her down!"

"I can't believe you sometimes." Daichi rubbed his forehead. Jatsuma's love life gives him constant headaches.

"Hey! Watch-" But Jatsuma was too late. Daichi tripped over a crack in the sidewalk and made a face plant with the pavement. "Ow!" He sat up and rubbed his nose.

"You okay?" Jatsuma asked.

"Yeah, I-" He stood up and stepped on a skateboard someone had left out. It started rolling down the sidewalk at top speed.

"EEEEEAAAYYYYYYY!" Daichi screamed and swung his arms franticly. Jatsuma ran after him. Daichi sped over the street, just narrowly avoiding the honking cars and crashed into the window of a glass figure shop. Glass pieces shattered across the sidewalk and the tingling sound of breaking glass rang through the shop.

Jatsuma cringed, "Oh, that's got to hurt."

Daichi stumbled out of the wreckage. "I'm fine." He said, but he was very dizzy and had trouble standing up straight. Jatsuma laughed. "Nice one! Skateboard into glass figurines!"

"I didn't do it on purpose!" Daichi yelled.

"My shop!" The shopkeeper walked out of the back room to find his store in shatters.

"Run!" Jatsuma yelled and grabbed his brother by the arm, hoping to keep him from more trouble. They ran up the street towards their school with the shopkeeper yelling after them.

_MEANWHILE, SOMEWHERE ELSE IN NERIMA_

Makoto jogged up to an apartment building called 'Friendly Groves Apartment Complex.' It was a nice looking building with clotheslines hanging on balconies and flowers growing near the entranceway. But Makoto didn't head inside; instead she went around to the back of the building, which wasn't nearly as nice. Shutters hung off their hinges, windows were broken and it could do with a fresh paint job. There was only one area that looked livable, a door near the middle of the building that had flowers planted around it like the front and the door was painted white with the number 225 on it. Makoto ran to this door and knocked on it.

Ryoga answered it. "Oh, hey Makoto!" He said enthusiastically. "I was beginning to think you weren't coming. Do you have breakfast?"

"Good Morning to you too!" She said with a big smile on her face. "Is Iikiba ready to go?"

"You just missed him."

Makoto's smile faded. "He wondered off by himself?"

"He'll be fine. I used to do it all the time." Ryoga waved his hand passively, unconcerned with his son's whereabouts. "I mean, it's not like he's trying to avoid you or anything." He said nervously, he didn't look Makoto in the eyes as he said this.

"Damn it! I knew I should have left earlier!" Makoto started to stomp away.

"Hey wait! What about my breakfast?" Ryoga called after her. Makoto pulled out the paper bag and threw it at Ryoga. "There you go!" She said in cheery tone.

"Thanks!" Ryoga caught the smell of something burnt. "Wait, did you're mom make this?" But Makoto had already run off.

Ryoga looked in the bag and saw what he guessed was a grilled cheese sandwich and two gray rice balls. This was definitely Akane's cooking. He picked up the sandwich and took a bite of it anyway. He had to fight against his gut reflex to spit it out, but he swallowed it.

"Oh Akane, how long has it been since I've eaten you're food?" He said, talking to himself. "If I had told you how I felt would things have been different?" He yelled to no one in particular. "Would you have still married that Ranma Saotome?" Just then a bucket of cold water hit Ryoga and he became the little black pig known as P-Chan.

"Bwkee! Bwkee!" Ryoga squealed at his upstairs neighbor, he kept telling her not to dump her hand washed laundry water on his porch!

Suddenly Ryoga felt a cold shiver run down his spine. He turned to look back into the apartment.

_ELSEWHERE IN THE STREETS OF NERIMA_

A boy of about sixteen was walking down the street trying to remember the way to school. He had an uncanny likeness to Ryoga except that he was slightly taller than Ryoga had been at his age, and his hair stuck up more. He was even wearing a red bandana. He was also wearing a school uniform like the ones on Jatsuma and Daichi.

He looked up at the street sign. "Martin Street. Do I know where Martin Street is?" He looked at the map he was holding upside down (though he didn't realize it).

"Oh Iikiba!" Makoto called from down the street behind him. She was running towards him, waving her hand in a friendly manner.

"Oh crap!" Iikiba took off at top speed in the other direction. He had been so close to getting away!

"Hey! Wait for me!" Makoto called after him. She started running faster and was quickly catching up with him.

"Never! Leave me alone!" He yelled back at her.

Makoto glared at him and sped up more. She jumped into the air and tackled Iikiba to the ground. "Ahhhh! Get away!" Iikiba yelled.

"But you're already two miles off course!" Makoto stood up making sure to keep a firm hold on the back of his uniform with her right hand. "I was only a few minutes late! Why didn't you wait for me?"

"I was trying to get away from you!" Iikiba struggled against her hold, but it was a deadlock grip.

"That's no way to talk to you're girlfriend!" Makoto scolded him.

"You're not my girlfriend! I don't even like you!"

"We're going to be late if we don't get going!" Makoto said happily as she dragged Iikiba along the ground going in the right direction. But she allowed his head to hit the lamppost and mailbox as she walked along.

_IN THE SCHOOLYARD_

Jatsuma and Daichi arrived, panting, in the schoolyard filled with students talking and laughing, all waiting for the school day to start. "Man that was close." Daichi said, breathing heavily. He brushed some glass off his clothes. "I can't believe this."

"I can." Jatsuma said. "You're totally clumsy."

"I'm not that bad!" Daichi started walking forward and tripped over a stick on the ground, his second face plant of the day. "Don't say a word." He said threateningly to his younger brother, who was grinning widely.

Daichi pulled himself off the ground. "Fine, so maybe I am- Aahhh!" Jatsuma had pushed Daichi away and jumped back himself just in time to avoid a girl whose fist was now embedded six inches into the ground where they had been standing a second before. She had shoulder length purple hair and was wearing a red cheerleading outfit.

"Hey Luffa! What's going on?" Jatsuma said angrily.

Luffa looked fiercely at him. "Like you don't know!" She took another swing at him, which he dodged. She let out an attack of punches and kicks all of which Jatsuma either blocked or dodged. "I heard you and Eri are going on a date this afternoon!"

"Oh, yeah. Sorry Luffa." He said as he continued to dodge her attacks.

"SORRY? I'll make you sorry! Fight me!"

Jatsuma jumped away from her. "Do you think I'm stupid?" He glowered. "I know that if I defeat you then you'll force me to marry you! I'm not falling for it!"

"Why not?" Luffa whined. "If we were engaged then you couldn't break up with me anymore!"

"Pfffh. What a load." Another girl walked up. She also had purple hair put up in buns on the sides of her head; she was obviously Luffa's twin.

"Hi Lotion!" Daichi stood up straight.

"Hi Daichi." She said passively. "Luffa, you know you don't have to follow that stupid Amazon law."

"Just because you don't feel proud of your heritage, that doesn't mean I can't!" Luffa said glaring at her twin.

"You're not proud of you're heritage! You just want to force Jatsuma to marry you! Besides we're not even really a part of the Amazon tribe anymore." Lotion said grudgingly.

"Hmph." Luffa crossed her arms and looked away from her sister.

"Sorry about her." Lotion said to Jatsuma and Daichi. "She can be a little unreasonable sometimes."

"Oh it's no problem at all!" Daichi said in a rather high-pitched voice. "Really! No trouble!"

Lotion smiled. "Thanks Daichi, you really are very understanding."

Daichi blushed furiously and scratched the back of his head. "Naw, its…it's really nothing."

"Good Lord." Jatsuma said, exasperated. It was then that he noticed a slight shaking in the ground. He turned towards the entrance. "I guess Iikiba and Makoto are almost here."

The others turned to look. Sure enough a moment later Iikiba ran through the gateway with Makoto hot on his trail. "Stop following me!" Iikiba yelled as Makoto glomped/tackled him to the ground.

"You're cutting it close today." Jatsuma said, checking his watch.

"He escaped and I had to herd him in the right direction!" Makoto said as she stood up on Iikiba's back.

Iikiba stood up suddenly and Makoto clamped her arms around his neck so he couldn't run away. But he wasn't trying to escape anymore. "Jatsuma! You coward!"

"Coward? What are you talking about?" Jatsuma asked in an offended voice.

"You ran away from our last duel!"

"I did not! Makoto dragged you away because it was time for dinner! If you want we could settle this right now!" He got in a fighting stance.

Iikiba did the same, but Makoto dangling from his neck took away from the dramatic effect. "Would you get out of here! I'm busy!" He yelled at her.

"He's not fighting you until he fights me!" Luffa yelled. She ran at Jatsuma ready to attack. He jumped into the air to dodge her, but Iikiba jumped at him with an attempted kick, which Jatsuma dodged in a kind of limbo motion. "Two against one? Forget this!" He landed and made a break for the school.

"Jatsuma! Don't go!" Luffa called as she ran after him.

"Give me some warning next time you do that!" Makoto hit Iikiba on the head; she was still attached to his neck.

"I told you to get off didn't I?" He ran after Jatsuma as well, Makoto flying behind him like a weird cape.

Lotion sighed. "Why can't they all just get along?"

* * *

Wow that was long! It started out even weirder that I though it would. If course it's supposed to be weird. If you would like to see pictures of the characters go to the link in my profile. So review! I, RUMIKO TAKAHASHI, DEMAND IT! 


	2. Just Another Day I Guess

LAST TIME ON **_GT_**! Goku was in the clutches of the Evil Lord Schnickablob! Will he be able to defeat this all-powerful opponent? Can he do it without the Earth getting blown up _again_? Why does Krillin only have hair when he's OLD? FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON **_GT_**! But you don't care! You're reading a Ranma fic!

**JUST ANOTHER DAY (I GUESS)**

Iikiba sat in at his desk staring angrily at Jatsuma across the room. If Jatsuma hadn't run away then they could have had their fight before the bell rang! Iikiba shook his head and tried to redirect his attention to the teacher who was lecturing on…. uh, what the heck where they supposed to be learning? Iikiba flipped through his math book trying to find where they were. He noticed a page was torn out of his book and he glared at Jatsuma again. This was his doing of course.

Iikiba quickly returned to flipping through his book. He was being stupid. Years ago they had shot spitballs at each other during class, but they were far too mature for that now.

Just then something cold and wet hit Iikiba near his ear. He turned just in time to see Jatsuma put his straw back in his desk. Iikiba sneered. What a petty revenge. He reached into his pocket for his own straw. Years ago, last week, it was hard to keep up.

It didn't take Iikiba long to retaliate. His spitball hit Jatsuma in the back of the head. Jatsuma had to pull the slimy ball out of his hair. The girl sitting behind him looked horrified, not so much with spitball itself, but the fact that there was spit in Jatsuma Saotome's hair! Before long there was an all out spitball war going on. People kept getting caught in the crossfire but the teacher still didn't seem to notice, even when one girl screamed, "Eeewww!" once she was hit.

Finally around noon the lunch bell rang. The students shuffled for the exit, glad to get out of class. Jatsuma and Iikiba stayed in their seats, each trying to stare the other down. Pretty soon the class was empty except for them and the teacher, who was erasing the chalkboard. Still they just stared angrily at each other.

"Well I'd love to do this all day," Jatsuma said sarcastically. "But I've got to be going!" He opened the window next to his desk and jumped out, never mind they were on the second floor. "You're running away again!" Iikiba jumped out after him. The teacher took no notice of this except to say, "No running in the hallways," in a monotone voice.

Jatsuma landed on the ground and kept running with Iikiba not far behind. "You're just afraid you'll lose!" Iikiba yelled. Jatsuma stopped so suddenly that Iikiba ran into him.

"Pffh, yeah right." Jatsuma turned to Iikiba. "I'm just afraid I'll beat you so bad that you'll never show your face again!"

Iikiba jumped up ready to fight. "Bring it on then!"

"Iikiba!" Makoto jumped out of nowhere and grabbed Iikiba by the arm and started dragging him away. "I've got our picnic lunch all set up! I hope you're hungry!"

"Damn it, Makoto!" Iikiba yelled.

"Makoto! We were just about to fight!" Jatsuma walked along next to her.

"Well, it will have to wait until after lunch. I worked really hard to put this meal together."

"Yeah, but we were-" Just then two pretty girls walked by, talking to each other and giggling. Jatsuma changed course and followed them. "Okay! See you guys later!"

"Don't leave me with her!" Iikiba yelled after him.

"Come on! I made your favorite!" Makoto said.

"I'm sure I'll hate it." Iikiba grumbled.

"Its macaroni!" She said in a sing songy voice.

Iikiba snorted. It was true, he did like macaroni.

Makoto dragged him over to a yellow, checkered blanket set up under a shady tree. She sat him on the blanket and parked herself right next to him.

"You don't have to sit so close!" He complained.

"How else am I supposed to feed you?" She held up the bowl of macaroni.

"I can eat it myself!" He snatched the bowl away and started shoveling it in his mouth. Makoto smiled.

Iikiba glared at her. "What are you looking at?"

"Oh, just the man I'm in love with." She said casually.

"Hmph. Shut up." He continued to eat.

_ELSEWHERE_

"I'll see you ladies later!" Jatsuma said as he waved goodbye to the two girls. They giggled franticly and walked on as they waved back. Jatsuma pulled out two fresh phone numbers from his pocket; he smiled at his own success.

"What happened to Eri?" said a threatening voice behind him.

Jatsuma quickly turned around and saw Daichi standing there, looking disapproving. "Phew! For a second I though you were Luffa!" He said, relieved that it was his brother.

"Do I sound like I have a girl's voice?" Daichi said, still angry.

"Well it's hard to tell with text! Anyway, I never said Eri and I were exclusive!"

"I'm telling you! All this girl chasing is going to come back to bite you in the butt one day!"

"Hey! I'm not doing anything wrong! I can't help it if all these girls find me attractive!"

Daichi let out an exasperated sigh. "I give up." He turned and began walking away. Jatsuma followed him. "Aw, you're just upset because Lotion hardly knows you exist."

"That's got nothing to do with it!" Daichi yelled, blushing a deep red.

"Sure. And you just up and joined the Science Club because you 'enjoy science.' It's got nothing to do with the fact that Lotion is President of the Science Club, right?"

"Would you just be quiet?"

That was when they felt it. A cold shiver ran down their spines and they froze. Jatsuma was the first to turn and see just what he had feared the most.

"Hello Saotome." A girl with long black hair and wearing a purple kimono with a crane print was sitting in one of those old box carriers that feudal age princesses would ride in. Carrying it were four boys, plus there was another six just walking along around the carrier. They were all wearing a badge that had 'Yuri Fan Club' written on it.

"Yuri Hibiki!" Jatsuma spat. "What do you want?"

"Now, now is that anyway to speak to a lady?" She said in a deceptively soothing voice. Her fan club shook their heads. "I just couldn't help overhearing your problem." She spoke to Daichi, who yipped like an injured dog. She smiled sinisterly "And I believe I could be of some help."

"No, no thanks!" Daichi wheezed.

"No, really." She said. "I could make sure Lotion knows you exist."

"Yeah! By humiliating him!" Jatsuma sneered. "What will it be this time? Bee attack? A public pantsing? Replacing his report with an excerpt from a dirty book so when he gets up in front of class to read it he doesn't know what to do so he makes up some stuff until the teacher asks to see it and he gets sent to the principal's office?"

"That only happened once!" Daichi yelled.

Yuri glared at Jatsuma. "I would watch your step if I were you Saotome." She snapped her fingers and her fan club marched on, carrying her along.

Daichi clutched his chest. "That was close. Don't egg her on like that Jatsuma!"

"I'm not afraid of her!" Jatsuma declared. "She's just a bully!"

"She's pure evil!" Daichi asserted.

Just then the bell rang for them to return to class.

"Oh no! I forgot to eat lunch!" Jatsuma rummaged around in his case.

"Too busy flirting?" Daichi asked. "Well it serves you right." He walked off towards the school.

"Fine! I'll just starve! Remind me not to help you next time!" Jatsuma yelled after his brother. He finally pulled out what he had been looking for, a paper sack. He opened it and looked cautiously inside.

"Is that supposed to be grilled cheese?" He asked no one in particular.

He balled up the paper bag with the food still inside and threw it into the nearest trashcan. "Not even if I actually was starving."

_BACK IN THE CLASSROOM_

Jatsuma's stomach growled loudly. Maybe he should have at least tried the sandwich. He had had no breakfast or lunch today. His stomach growled again and he laid his head on his open book. The teacher droned on and Jatsuma could hardly pay attention. He didn't even have the energy to bother Iikiba who was feverishly taking notes and trying to keep up with the lecture.

Jatsuma looked up at the clock and saw there was only five minutes till school was over. Most of the class wasn't listening to the teacher now, instead they were chatting quietly amongst themselves. Jatsuma tapped his heel impatiently. Surely that clock was broken; it was going way too slow. His stomach growled again. All he could think about was that ice cream parlor they had passed on the way to school.

After what felt like an eternity, the bell rang. "Alright!" Jatsuma was the first one up and out the door. If he was quick he could make it to the parlor and still be back in time for his date with Eri. He made it all the way outside before he felt someone grab the back of his shirt, stopping him in his tracks.

"We haven't finished our duel yet!" Iikiba yelled.

Jatsuma's stomach growled again. "Can't it wait? I'm really hungry!"

"Please! I'm not falling for that one!" Iikiba growled. "You're not getting away again!"

"Heh, fine. Have it your way." He swung his foot and kicked Iikiba into the air. Iikiba landed on his feet a few yards away.

"Glad to see you're not running anymore!" He ran at Jatsuma and let out a borage of punches that Jatsuma blocked. By this time a crowd was gathering to watch the fight.

It was obvious that Iikiba was fighting his hardest, but Jatsuma didn't seem to be exerting himself at all.

"What are you holding back for? Why don't you fight me?" Iikiba yelled as they continued to spar.

"Yea! Go Iikiba!" Makoto cheered from the sidelines.

"Did I ask for you're cheering?" Iikiba yelled at her. Jatsuma took advantage of his opponent's momentary distraction and grabbed him in a headlock and flipped over backwards so Iikiba's head struck the pavement.

Jatsuma released him and stood up. "Basically I was waiting for you to get distracted. You should really work on your concentration."

"What's that? You're lecturing me now!" He reached up and grabbed Jatsuma by the cuff of his shirt. "Listen you! I don't-" Luffa landed on top of his head, knocking him into the pavement again.

"Jatsuma! So you're not going out with Eri after all?" She asked hopefully.

"Of course I am! I just haven't met up with her yet."

The expression on Luffa's face changed to one of rage. "You two timer!" She punched him away. Then she jumped into the air and came down for another attack but Jatsuma was already up and running. "Stop trying to fight me!" He yelled as she chased him away.

Makoto walked over and pulled Iikiba's head out of the asphalt. "You okay?"

"Of course I'm not! I just got beat! AGAIN!" He slumped over with his arms crossed. That was when he felt a shiver run down his spine.

"Pouting doesn't become you, Brother." Yuri said. Her fan club nodded their heads in agreement.

"Hmph, this is none of you're business." Iikiba huffed.

"Alas, it becomes my business when you shame the family name." She said tragically.

"What was that?" He yelled, glaring at her.

"If only I hadn't had such a weakling for a brother." She sighed.

He growled. "Hey! If you have a point then get to it!"

Yuri thought for a moment. "No, can't think of one." Iikiba fell to the ground in dismay. "Well thanks a lot!" He said sarcastically.

"It's okay Iikiba!" Makoto said. "I think you're strong!"

"Somehow that doesn't make me feel any better."

"Onward men!" Yuri instructed and her fan club marched on. "So long Brother! Perhaps you will become a better fighter one day! Until that day comes, adieu!"

"I'll see you at home!" He called after her. "Why does she always have to be like this?"

"Come on." Makoto grabbed his arm. "I know what will make you feel better! A hot bowel of ramen!" She started dragging him along.

"I'm not hungry!" But of course, this was no use. Iikiba sighed as he was pulled along. It seemed the only way to solve all his problems was to train until he was strong enough to beat Jatsuma and fast enough to outrun Makoto.

* * *

You're getting sleepy. You're getting sleepy. You're falling into a deeeep sleeep. When I snap my fingers you will send a review! _Snap!_


	3. The Woes of a Father

You know…I think I might actually write some _real_ author's notes. DUH-DA-DUH! Anyway something that Yashi Saotome said in a review quite worried me. Yuri reminds you of Kodachi? Are you insinuating that Kodachi might be Iikiba and Yuri's mother? Gasp! How did you know? (This is a joke) GAK! Crimedy, no! Maybe I'm reading too much into it. (Pokes brain) There is actually a very interesting story behind Iikiba and Yuri's mother that you will not get to see for a LONG while. So don't worry about it and take the story as it is. …Now that I've sufficiently peaked your curiosity, on to chapter three!

**THE WOES OF A FATHER**

It was a dark and stormy night.

Last night.

Tonight was actually quite lovely out. However Ranma didn't notice this as he was too busy staring angrily at the clock in the dojo. Five minutes to five.

"They're late." He sighed. He should have known better than to think they would actually be back after school. He sat down on the floor of the dojo and leaned his head against his hand. "Why do I even bother?"

"Don't worry Sensei! I'm here!" An eager looking boy of about 14 in a martial arts outfit said as he walked up behind Ranma.

"Yeah great." Ranma said unenthusiastically.

The boy sighed. "I guess _some_ of us just aren't as dedicated as others. I know if that if I were born as heir to the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts, it would be such an honor!"

"Exactly!" Ranma said, perking up.

"I mean it's not like this place needs any renovations, holes in the ceiling give it character! So what if your own children don't come? You've still got me! I may be you're only paying student, but I feel like our one on one training time has really paid off for me!"

"Kiyoshi, just stop talking." Ranma said gloomily, slumping forward again.

"Ranma! How could you let this dojo fall into such disarray?" Soun suddenly shouted dramatically.

"Honestly Son, you can do better than this! I never thought I'd see the day you could only keep one student, this is exactly why you are in debt up to your ears you know." Genma scolded. Then he stuffed some noodles in his mouth from the bowel of instant ramen he was holding in his hand.

Ranma glared at his father. "Oh really? I thought the reason I was in debt was because I had two freeloaders living in my house!" He snatched the instant ramen away from Genma.

"Don't speak to your father that way!" Genma snatched the ramen back.

"Why am I included in that accusation?" Soun asked.

Ranma snatched the ramen back again. "Listen Pops! This is all your fault anyway!"

"Don't know what you're talking about."

Ranma glared at his father.

"Sheesh, I accidentally drop a bucket of cold water on you one time and you just can't let it go."

"I was on parents' day! They all thought I was some kind of cross dressing pervert!"

"I know you're not a pervert Sensei!" Kiyoshi said.

"Not now Kiyoshi. Look Pops, all I'm saying is that you should get a job and buy your own ramen, or move back with Mom."

"You know he has a point. It's high time you did your share of work for this house." Soun agreed.

"Don't tell me you're on his side!" Genma yelled. "And besides, you're one to talk! Why don't you do some work?"

"I'm retired. Besides I spent many years supporting three children and two freeloaders and I'm sure Ranma can do it too." Soun said.

"Come to think of it," Ranma said with a surprised look on his face. "I don't think I ever saw you host a class here once! How the heck did you make a living! And pay for all the house damages! And bills!"

"Oh Ranma, Ranma, Ranma………Ranma, Ranma……………………….Ranma."

Ranma raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"

"There is no secret, just years of hard work. That and I have a deceased uncle who was rather well off." Soun couldn't help smiling.

"And I'm assuming you spent it all, right?" Ranma said in an exasperated voice.

"You kids were more expensive than you thought."

"Well that's just great!" Ranma took a swig of the ramen as if it were a hard drink.

"Ah! That's mine!" Genma lunged forward and tried to steal the ramen away.

"Go buy your own!" Ranma yelled as he took a swing at him. But Genma dodged around and tackled him. "Getoffa me!" Ranma yelled as he struggled to push his father away. Soun took a step back so as not to get caught in the skirmish.

Kiyoshi watched in horror. "Oh Sensei, reduced to fighting your lump of a father. What a waste of your talent."

Genma popped up behind him. "Who are you calling a lump?" He demanded. Kiyoshi laughed nervously.

_ELSEWHERE IN NERIMA_

"Bakusai Tenketsu!" Ryoga slammed his finger into the building in front of him. The wall crumbled and fell away; the rest of the structure screeched ominously then fell in. Dirt was kicked up into the air and nothing but rubble was left where the building had stood a second before.

Three overweight men were watching this while sitting in the back of a puck-up truck. They were all wearing yellow construction helmets and sweaty shirts. "No matter how many times I see that it still amazes me." The middle one said. The one to the left waved a can of beer over his head. "Hey Ryoga! That's enough for today, just chill for a while!"

Ryoga looked over at the men; he too was wearing a yellow construction helmet. That's right. A member of the Nermia wrecking crew had actually become a demolition worker. Of course without a high school degree there wasn't much else he could do. Yet somehow he still made more money than Ranma.

"Okay." Ryoga walked over the truck and hopped into the back with the men. The one who had told him to chill grinned and pulled another beer out of the cooler and tossed it to Ryoga.

"Great work today, I tell ya I've been in the construction business my whole life but I've never seen anything quite like that!"

"Thanks Ted." Ryoga smiled, it was nice to have normal people admire his skills.

"I really think you have a future in the business kid. When my promotion comes through I'll be sure to keep you in mind for the position of foreman, aye." Ted winked and elbowed Ryoga in the arm.

"Oh sure, just ignore us." One of the other guys said.

"Like you had a chance of taking my place Bill. All you and Wallis do is sit on your asses all day watching Ryoga do all the work."

"You do that too!" Bill accused. "Besides I do have a wife and kids to take care of!"

"Big deal, I'm sure Ryoga does too." Ted turned to Ryoga. "Right?"

Ryoga was a little taken aback. "Uh, well I have two kids. But I'm a single parent."

"Ah, don't worry about it." Ted said reassuringly. "I'm sure that bitch didn't know what she was thinking, divorcing a great guy like you."

"Actually she passed away." Ryoga said with an irritated tone.

Ted froze for a second. Then he turned to Bill. "You see? Now you've gone and hurt his feelings."

"I didn't even say anything you bastard!"

"Don't sass your superiors."

"Ted has a tendency to talk too much." Wallis said to Ryoga.

"Gee, I hadn't noticed." Ryoga said sarcastically. He took a sip of his beer and that was when he felt a cold shiver run down his spine.

"Drinking Father? What kind of example are you setting for your daughter?" Yuri said and her fan club nodded in agreement.

"Well you weren't here a second ago."

Yuri was about to say something when Ted interrupted her. "Hey Yuri, how was school?"

She stared coldly at him. "Adequate."

"Great! Nothing gets you places like a good education!"

"We really should be going." Yuri said to Ryoga.

"You know I really admire how you come to pick up your father every day! Shows good character it does!" Ted said.

For some reason this comment annoyed Yuri more than anything else. She leered at Ted, "If he doesn't get to work, I don't get any money."

"Ha ha! And a sense of humor too!"

"Alright Yuri! Let's get going!" Ryoga jumped up before Ted could do any more damage. He jumped on top of Yuri's box carrier and the fan boys faltered under the added weight but the others were ready to help support the carrier and leapt in to help.

Yuri continued to glare at Ted for a second then turned away with her nose in the air as if just looking at him was beneath her. The fan boys took this as an instruction and began marching out to the street from the construction area.

"Don't be strangers now!" Ted called after them and waved good-bye. Bill and Wallis also waved but not as enthusiastically as Ted.

Once the fan boys had made it out to the street and were walking at a regular pace, "I'm disappointed in him." Yuri said.

"Disappointed?" Ryoga asked.

"He just isn't living up to proper standards."

"I know he can be annoying." Ryoga laughed. "But trust me, Ted's harmless."

"I wasn't talking about that fool. I was talking about your son." Yuri sighed.

Ryoga frowned. He knew better than to take Yuri seriously when she got like this, but most of the time what she said had some truth to it. Ryoga sighed and scratched his head. "Okay I'll bite, what did Iikiba do?"

Yuri held her sleeve up to her face as if about to break into tears. "Oh Father! He has shamed our family name! I'm not even sure I can speak of it!"

"But you're the one who brought it up!"

Yuri couldn't help smirking, "I-I'm afraid he, he has lost to Jatsuma Saotome."

Those were the magic words. "AGAIN?" Ryoga's face was mingled with fury and embarrassment as if he himself had lost to Ranma.

"Oh Father! All the children at school laugh at me! They call me the sister of a loser!" She sniffed. The fan boys below cried heavily and blew their noses.

"I'll just talk to him when we get home." He said, ignoring Yuri's sob story.

_IN THE HIBIKI APARTMENT_

"I don't need your help!" Iikiba hunched over the paper on the table in front of him, hiding it from view.

"But you're doing it wrong!" Makoto pulled at his arm, trying to move it off the math problem it was covering.

"Okay! Then I don't WANT your help!"

Makoto glared at him. "Oh fine! Be that way! We'll work on it later!" She stomped into the Hibiki kitchen where she had a large pot simmering and she started to chop up onions very rapidly.

"What makes you think I'll want your help later?" Iikiba yelled into the kitchen. He smiled at his own success at making Makoto go away. Then looked down and saw his crinkled and ripped paper. He sighed, remembering that he had failed his last homework assignment because he had turned it in torn into three pieces.

He pulled his open math book closer and looked at the next problem, it seemed simple enough but what was he supposed to do with the absolute value? Something about flipping the sign. He racked his brains trying to remember class, but all that came to mind was Jatsuma hitting him with a spitball. Curse that Jatsuma! This was all his fault! Iikiba shook his head trying to regain his concentration, he looked down at his paper and decided to change the 3 to a –3. That looked right.

Makoto made a voice in her throat that was something like a cough, she was right behind Iikiba. "You have to change the greater than to a less than sign too."

"I thought you weren't helping me anymore!"

"Well I don't want you to fail!"

"I'm just fine on my own!"

"Alright, alright. Geez." Makoto returned to the kitchen.

Iikiba made sure she was gone before quickly erasing the greater than sign. He was about to write in the less than sign when an unexpected shiver ran down his spine, causing him to break the pencil in half. "Damn it Yuri!" He yelled down the hall where he could hear the front door opening.

Yuri slid elegantly out of her carrier and walked in through the front door that a fan boy was holding open for her. Ryoga jumped off the carrier and stalked in after her, he was still fuming. He closed the door behind him, leaving the fan boys outside. They would be back in the morning.

Yuri walked into the dinning room where Iikiba was sitting and she grinned wickedly at him. Iikiba narrowed his eyes in distrust. "What did you do?"

Yuri said nothing but took the seat next to her brother. Ryoga came into the room looking particularly irritated and glared at Iikiba.

"Whatever she said, I didn't do it!" He yelled before Ryoga could say anything.

Ryoga's aura deflated immensely. "Phew! That's a relief! She told me you had lost to Jatsuma!" He laughed.

Iikiba suddenly looked depressed again, the whole Makoto homework situation had made him forget about losing. "Well you know, except that."

Ryoga's aura was back up in a second. "That's the fifth time this month!"

"It's not my fault! That stupid Makoto keeps getting in the way!" Just then a pair of salad tongs flew out of the kitchen and hit Iikiba in the head. "Well it's true!" He yelled towards the kitchen.

Makoto came out carrying a tray of steamed vegetables. "Dinner's served!" She said cheerfully.

"Great! I'm starved!" Ryoga took his seat.

"Don't encourage her!" Iikiba yelled.

Makoto passed out plates and silverware and spooned the vegetables onto their plates.

"Only vegetables?" Iikiba asked. "Don't we get some meat at least?"

"Too much meat will make you fat." Makoto said.

"Are you trying to say something?" He growled.

"She just has your best interest at heart." Ryoga said as he took a bite of his carrot and made a mental note to heat up a hot dog later.

Yuri glared at her father. "Wasn't there something you wanted to say to Iikiba?"

Ryoga thought for a second. "Oh yeah! How could you lose to Jatsuma?"

"You're acting like its something I do of my own free will! You think I want to lose?"

"If you really wanted to win then you would train harder! You can't just expect to do the same thing over and over and somehow win."

"You're such a disgrace." Yuri added. "Running blindly into battle over and over without a second thought."

"Don't you start!" Iikiba snapped at his sister.

"Well she's right you know," Ryoga took another bite of carrot. "You should be training every day."

"Oops." Makoto said as she was setting down the tray on the table. She had completely forgotten about training.

"Oops what?" Iikiba asked.

"Dad wanted me home after school. I totally forgot." She checked her watch, 6:26. "Oh man! He's going to chew me out! I got to go!" She grabbed her school case that was lying on the kitchen counter.

"What about the dishes?" Yuri asked in a tone that indicated there was no way in hell she would wash dishes.

"I think we'll manage." Ryoga said.

"I'll see you later!" She called to Iikiba as she ran out the front door.

"Good riddance!" He yelled after her. Then he hunched back in his chair and took a bite of broccoli when he noticed his father glaring at him. "What?"

"You should know better than to talk to a girl like that."

"Pffh." He took another bite of food.

"You see how he is Father?" Yuri sighed tragically.

"Stop acting like the victim!" Iikiba yelled at her.

"Well you are acting really angry." Ryoga said.

"I'm not angry! I'm annoyed!" Iikiba said. "I'm tired to Makoto bothering me all the time! I'm tired to Yuri tattling on me! I'm tired of you getting on my case and, and" He took a deep breath. "I'M TIRED OF LOSING TO JATSUMA!"

"Well that's good." Ryoga said in an irritated voice. He took his and Yuri's empty plates and silverware and pushed them into Iikiba's hands. "You can start your training by doing the dishes!" He grabbed Iikiba's plate and the tray and pushed them on top of the others.

"Hey, I wasn't finished!" Iikiba protested. But Ryoga was already pushing him towards the kitchen.

"Until you learn to stop acting like a little kid, chores are the only training you'll get done!" Ryoga shoved him towards the sink and Iikiba had to spin around to keep the plates balanced.

"You got to kidding me!"

But Ryoga didn't look like he was kidding. "This self-pity thing has got to stop! Really, I don't know where you get it from."

Yuri smirked at Iikiba as she walked by the door on the way to her room. Iikiba's eye twitched in frustration but he just turned to sink and turned on the water to start scrubbing.

After a while Ryoga left the room and Iikiba to his thoughts.

As much as he hated to admit it, maybe they had a point. Maybe he did need to train harder. But between Makoto and school he wasn't sure when he'd have the time. Then a thought struck him. Iikiba looked around the room; Makoto wasn't here now.

"That's it!" He said out loud. "I'll just have to go on a training journey!"

* * *

My profile has been updated so if you are new, or especially if you have reviewed me before, there might be some things of interest there. I've written a special thanks to all the people who have reviewed my stories so far! BWAHAHAHAHA! 


	4. The Turning Point

Well I've been sick as a dog all week. I went to the doctor yesterday and got prescribed this medicine that's so strong you wake up with a hangover. Luckily I wrote this when I was feeling good. If I suddenly stop posting it's probably because I've died. Not from my illness, from all the make up work I'm going to have when I finally get back to school! Ugh!

**THE TURNING POINT**

Iikiba and ran out of the kitchen, then realized he was running towards the front door so he turned around and ran the other way. A training journey! Why hadn't he thought of it before? It was perfect! It would give him a break from all the people who were getting on his nerves and a chance to train without Makoto getting in the way!

He opened the door to his room to find Yuri. She was sitting on a stool in front of a vanity mirror and brushing her hair; she was wearing a long purple night gown and matching slippers.

"What are you doing in my room?" Iikiba glared at his sister.

"This is my room. Yours is across the hall." Yuri said and pointed the way.

"Oh, right." Iikiba turned around and went into his own room this time. Since he had had this room most of his life he had memorized where everything was pretty well. He walked straight to the closet and started throwing out clothes and other junk.

"What are you looking for?" Yuri asked as she stood in the doorway.

"None of your business!" He snapped.

Yuri sighed. "Why must you act this way? Why have I been cursed with such a dishonorable brother?"

Iikiba laughed in an irritated kind of way. "You know, I'm almost going to miss your…uh…unique sense of humor Yuri." Iikiba held up what he had been looking for, an overlarge backpack. "But you won't have to worry about your dishonorable brother anymore!"

Then he noticed that Yuri was no longer there. "Yuri?"

Just then Ryoga ran into the room and grabbed Iikiba in a bone crushing hug. "Don't run away Iikiba! I'm sorry I made you do dishes!" He cried.

"Dad! Cool it!" Iikiba struggled but couldn't move. "I'm not running away!"

Ryoga released him immediately and turned back towards the hall. "Yuri!"

"Don't allow him to fool you Father." Yuri stepped into the room. "I heard it with my own two ears! He plans to start anew in a far away land! Perhaps join a chain gang."

"I never said any of that!" He growled.

Ryoga sighed, half exasperated and half relieved. "Then what the heck are you doing?"

"I'm going on a training journey!" Iikiba said triumphantly.

"Training journey?"

"Yeah! I was thinking about what you guys said about rushing into battle over and over again. So I though the best thing to do would be a training journey, right? That way I can finally get good enough to defeat Jatsuma!"

"And miss school?" Yuri said, ashamed. "You would allow your grades drop more than they already have?"

"Shut up! It's a good plan!" He yelled. "Right Dad?"

"Iikiba, I'm…I'm," Ryoga's eyes were watering. "So proud of you!"

"Dad, geez."

"Right, sorry." Ryoga tried to regain his composure.

"Do you really think one trip will make any difference?" Yuri said irritably.

"You're just mad because I'm not in trouble!" Iikiba smirked.

She leered at him. "Oh no my dear brother, if I wanted you in trouble, you would be in trouble."

"Wow, I'm so scared." Iikiba said sarcastically.

Yuri's aura shot up and sent a series of cold shivers down their spines. But being used to it they stood their ground.

"T-There's no reason to be so upset Yuri." Ryoga said trying to calm her down. "Your brother is going to be working really hard."

Yuri snorted. "Knowing him he won't even be able to find any training grounds, much less his way b-" Her aura suddenly returned to normal. "Have a good trip!" With that she left the room, apparently in high spirits.

"That, she …ARRH!" Iikiba yelled in frustration.

Ryoga scratched his head and sighed again. He had long given up trying to make Iikiba and Yuri get along; it was like trying to stop Makoto from going after Iikiba (an endeavor he and Ranma had given up on years ago). Besides he was too excited about Iikiba's determination to beat Jatsuma to be worried with their sibling relationship right now. His own son doing all this just to defeat Ranma's son!

"So when are you leaving?" Ryoga asked.

"Preferably, as soon as possible." Iikiba walked over to his overlarge backpack and started shoving clothes into it.

"What? But you're not nearly prepared!"

Iikiba raised an eyebrow. "Prepared?"

"Trust me, there are a lot of places to get lost in out there. Plus you…you could be attacked by a bear or fall off a waterfall!"

Iikiba rolled his eyes. "I'll handle it okay?"

"Well you could at least use a map." Ryoga left the room and after several attempts found his own room. It was cluttered with all the souvenirs from his travels so it was difficult to find anything. But after looking for a few minutes he found an old dusty box that contained his collection of maps.

Some were crudely drawn ones of his own design but others were picked up in souvenir shops and depicted everything from a full map of Japan to a map of some forgotten amusement park. Ryoga decided to take the whole lot of them. Holding as many as he could carry he started back towards Iikiba's room.

"His room is across the hall." Yuri said.

"Right." Ryoga swung around, dropping several maps in the process.

Yuri walked out after him. "Is he still planning on going?"

"Of course he is!" Ryoga didn't contain the pride in his voice.

"Just checking." Yuri smiled.

Just then Iikiba opened his bedroom door and stepped out. He was wearing a long sleeved black shirt with a dragon design in the front near the shoulder, tan pants and his overlarge backpack. "Well I'm heading out."

"WHAT?" Ryoga shouted and maps flew everywhere. "But I haven't even shown you the best routes yet!" He followed Iikiba down the hall.

Iikiba doubted very much that he knew any routes at all. "No time, I've got to get going."

"Well you could at least wait until morning." Ryoga said, looking up at the clock as they passed through the dinning room. "It's nearly…1 A.M.!"

"I can't! If I wait then Makoto will show up and stop me from going, or worse, want to come along." Iikiba tuned on Yuri. "And don't you go telling her where I've gone!"

"And risk the chance you would return? What kind of person do you take me for?"

Iikiba thought it better not to say in front of Ryoga so he decided just to glare at her.

"Well...how about I go with you? I can help you train!" Ryoga suggested.

That was almost as bad as Makoto coming. "No! I mean ...but if you come then…uh," Iikiba struggled to find an excuse. "We'll get twice as lost!"

Ryoga gasped. "You're right!"

Wow, that worked?

Iikiba was now at the front door. He opened it and felt the cold night air on his face. He could hear the sounds of the city coming from far away. But their apartment building was next to the park so all he could see were trees and the street running up to the main road.

"Well…bye!" Iikiba started to run off.

"Hold on!" Ryoga grabbed hold of his backpack to stop him and shoved the remainder of the maps into his arms. "You'll want to know where you are!"

"Oh, okay." Iikiba took off his backpack and shoved the maps down as far as he could but they still stuck out when he closed it.

He started to walk away again when he turned back to look at his father and sister. "Hey Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"If I don't come back, be sure to tell Makoto…" He took a deep breath. "So long sucker!" He laughed.

"I'll be sure to." Ryoga said sarcastically.

With that Iikiba started to run up the street. "Bye!"

"Train hard Iikiba! I'm sure you'll get better!" Ryoga called after him.

"I'll do more than that!" He called over his shoulder as he continued to run. "When I get back I'll beat that Jatsuma once and for all!" He rounded the corner onto the main street and was out of sight.

Ryoga swelled with pride.

Yuri looked up at her father. "Did it ever occur to you that passing your grudges to future generations could cause severe psychological trauma?"

Ryoga looked at her. "No, why?"

Yuri shrugged and walked back into the apartment.

_IN THE MORNING_

Makoto was jogging down the street at a steady pace; it was 7:05 so she still had plenty of time. She had gotten a real ear full last night about sticking to commitments and whatnot. At least she was better off than Jatsuma who finally got home around eight o'clock covered in dirt and bruises; Luffa had attacked him while he and Eri where walking in the park. But Makoto found it hard to worry about any of that now. It was a new day, the sun was shinning and she would be seeing Iikiba in a few minutes. She just had the feeling that this was going to be a great day.

Makoto ran around the apartment building and up to the Hibikis' door. There was a sigh on it that read 'Room for Rent'.

"That's strange. They don't have any extra rooms." Makoto knocked on the door.

Yuri answered it. "Oh, it's you."

"Good morning!" Makoto tried to smile but found it difficult with the shiver running down her spine. "Is Iikiba ready to go?"

Yuri stared at her, as if weighing her options. "He's gone." She said after a moment.

"Gone?" Makoto growled. "If he ran off again-"

"No. I-It's not that." Yuri said in her too tragic to be real voice. "He was found lying on the kitchen floor this morning…dead."

"WHAT?"

"The doctors did an autopsy. It seems he died of…" She couldn't help smirking. "Dishpan hands!"

Makoto's body relaxed and she rose and eyebrow. "Dishpan hands?"

"What a horrible way to go!"

"Oh come on! No one has ever died of dishpan hands!"

"Oh really?" Yuri looked up at Makoto, apparently amused. "Then why don't you come inside and find him yourself?"

Makoto pushed past Yuri and walked into the dinning room where she set down the breakfast she had brought for them. "Iikiba! It's time to go!" She called. There was no crash or loud cursing, which is what usually happened when Makoto called him. She walked down the hall and looked in Iikiba's room, the bathroom, and then ever other room in the hall. The only strange thing was that Iikiba was missing and his room was a total mess.

Makoto walked back to the dinning room where Yuri was at the table eating a bowl of the soup Makoto had made. "Where is he?" She demanded.

"The nether world I suspect."

Makoto was about ready to strangle her. Right then Ryoga walked out of the kitchen. "Good morning Makoto. Iikiba has gone on a training journey so could you get his homework for him?"

"Training journey?"

"Why must you spoil my fun?" Yuri asked.

"Hold on!" Makoto yelled as Ryoga poured the soup out of the plastic contain into a bowl. "You let him run off all by himself AGAIN!"

"Well when you put it like that…"

"I've got to find him!" Makoto was about to run out the door but Ryoga grabbed hold of her arm to stop her.

"It's alright! It's just a training journey!" He said. Makoto continued to glare at him. "It's perfectly safe!" He persisted.

"That's not what you said last night." Yuri said.

"The POINT is that he will be fine!" Ryoga glared at Yuri. "I used to wonder around on my own all the time, besides he'll be back before you know it!" He insisted.

"Define 'before you know it'." Makoto said.

"A couple of weeks tops."

"A COUPLE OF WEEKS?"

"Well you can't just expect to get better in a few days! This is about honor and becoming a stronger fighter…and finally showing Ranma what for!" Ryoga went off on a tangent, filled with fighting spirit.

Makoto stared at him for a second and then rolled her eyes. "So that's what it's about. Iikiba wants to get better so he can beat Jatsuma, huh?"

"Well, yes…just give him some time!" Ryoga pleaded. "I swear! He'll be back in no time!"

Makoto groaned. She was probably going to regret this. "Oh, alright, fine!"

"Thanks." Ryoga said, relieved that he at least got Iikiba a head start.

"Yeah, whatever." Makoto grabbed her school bag and stormed out, slamming the door behind her.

_That guy has some nerve._ She thought furiously. Iikiba just ran off and left her with out even saying goodbye! And after all she did for him too! Getting him to school, helping him with homework, making his meals. But he doesn't even bother to say goodbye! He could have at least told her that he was going!

She brooded over it so much that by the time she got to school she was in a very bad mood. "I'LL BET THAT JERK JUST WANTED TO GET AWAY FROM ME!" She yelled out loud. Students standing around in front of school turned to see who was making the racket.

Daichi was so surprised by the noise that he tripped and fell (again) but he quickly got back up and staggered towards his sister. "Hey, Makoto. Where's Iikiba?" He looked around for him.

"He went on a training journey without even telling me!" Makoto yelled. "Can you believe it?"

"Um…well sort of." Daichi could definitely believe it, but there was no point telling Makoto that. She was always like this when it came to Iikiba.

"So Iikiba finally escaped?" Jatsuma stuck his head out of the hedge behind her.

Makoto jumped back in surprise. "What the…! What the heck are you doing?"

"Getting what he deserves." Daichi said.

"Nobody asked you!" Jatsuma snapped.

"He's hiding from Luffa." Daichi explained.

Makoto glared at Jatsuma. "Well good! I'm glad she's giving you a hard time! It's your fault Iikiba left!"

"What? What did I do?"

"He's off training so he can beat you! You and your…your stupid rivalry!"

"It's not my fault he can't fight!"

Just then the bell for classes to start rang and students started walking towards the school.

"I hope you're proud of yourself!" Makoto yelled and stomped off.

"It's not my fault!" Jatsuma called after her.

"Come on, I think it's safe to come out now." Daichi said as he started walking towards the school. Jatsuma jumped out of the bush and followed.

"Who does she think she is? Blaming me!" Jatsuma said.

"Uh huh."

Jatsuma glared at Daichi. "You don't think it's my fault, do you?"

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't not say that."

"It's not that." Daichi said. "I just have a weird feeling, like something is about to happen.'

Jatsuma shrugged. "Probably something cliché."

* * *

I take it back. I'm more likely to die of alcohol poisoning. I just took my morning dose and I feel woooooozzzy. And that was only a teaspoon! Stupid medicine! 


	5. Where Am I Now?

My sister keeps trying to get me to read Fruit's Basket spoilers so she can complain about what's happening in them. I keep refusing because I already ruined the Akito is actually a girl thing because I let her tell me the spoiler. Brrr! Even then I didn't believe it until I saw it myself. Is that freaky or what? …Now I'm giving away spoilers! Oh well I guess you don't HAVE to read this next part where I say AkitoXShigure 4ever!

**WHERE AM I NOW?**

"These maps are defective." Iikiba groaned.

Iikiba's journey had started out well. By morning he was in Fukushima, to the north of Nerima. His plan was to go to the tip of Hokkaido and train by the raging seas. But by the end of the day he was in Kyoto, to the south west of Nerima! He kept having to ask directions because he couldn't keep up with where he was, and then he realized he hadn't packed any food so he had to scrape up enough change from his clothes pockets to buy a hamburger. After that Iikiba lost complete track of where he was. All he could do was wonder around the countryside because he couldn't seem to find any cities, no matter how many times someone gave him directions. He was getting hungry again so he tried to pull some rice out of a rice patty, only to get chased off by its angry tender and his dogs. So now Iikiba was walking through a dense forest, tired, dirty, hungry, and trying to make heads or tails of this map.

"So route 98 goes to San Francisco?" He said to himself while holding a map of the north western hemisphere sideways. Of course he didn't realize this.

Just then a small panda stepped onto the path in front of him. It stopped and stared at him intently for a second then continued on its way.

"A panda? What the heck is a panda doing running wild?" Iikiba ran after the baby panda and quickly caught it. It squirmed around as he held it up to get a better look. It made a funny wailing sound and nibbled at his finger playfully. Iikiba couldn't help but smile a little, it was pretty cute. "Did you escape from a zoo or something?"

The little panda made the wailing sound again and continued to gnaw on his thumb. "Well, I guess it couldn't hurt to take you back." Iikiba decided. "You probably miss your-"

Iikiba turned around and came face to face with an enraged giant panda. It was hunch backed and had one eye that was larger than the other with a red pupil. And Iikiba could have sworn it was foaming at the mouth. "Mother."

The giant panda roared ferociously, a sound that shook the forest. Iikiba turned and ran the other way as fast as he could. The panda tore after him, not looking at all like the gentle giant everyone made them out to be.

The baby panda wailed again. He had to get rid of it or he would be torn to shreds! So he set the little panda down as quickly as he could, slowing down just enough for the mother to take a bite out of the air where he had been a second before. The giant panda roared again and continued to chase after him.

"You stupid panda! You're supposed to stay with the baby!" Iikiba yelled back at it as he continued to run. This only seemed to make the panda angrier. It made a lunge for him and Iikiba jumped up out of the way, landing on a tree branch. "Ha! Can't get me up here you stupid panda!"

The deranged panda growled and circled the tree like a dog waiting for a cat. "Forget it! Pandas can't climb trees!" He yelled at it. The panda stood up on it's hind legs and grabbed hold of the tree then slowly started to pull itself up the trunk. Iikiba stared. "Or maybe they can."

The panda climbed up to Iikiba's branch and growled at him from the trunk. "Fine! If that's how you want it, bring it on!" Iikiba took a fighting stance. The panda began to lumber out onto the limb, which suddenly seemed much less stable.

"Wait! Stop!" Iikiba yelled and waved his arms. Of course the panda didn't understand him. There was a loud CRACK and Iikiba and the panda fell to the forest floor.

The panda stood up out of the leaves and shook it's head. It looked around for it's prey. "Gotcha!" Iikiba grabbed the panda in a headlock from behind. The panda went mad. It roared and bit at the air and jumped up and down like a bucking bronco, trying to throw him off.

"H-Hey stop! You stupid- AAAAAHHHHH!" The panda took off running straight through the forest like a lunatic. The trees seemed to jump out of the way as they sped past them. Iikiba held on for dear life as the panda gained speed. He looked up and had just enough time to see the river. SPLASH!

Iikiba suddenly couldn't breath and he realized he was under water. He let go the panda and swam to the surface franticly. He broke the surface gasping for air. "That panda is insane!" He coughed.

He looked over and saw the panda on the river bank shaking water off. "Stupid panda!" He yelled at it. Just then he realized the current was carrying him down the river and he could hear the sound of rushing water ahead. He had just enough time to realize it was a waterfall.

"CURSE YOU!" Iikiba yelled as he fell.

_BACK IN NERIMA_

"I'm sure he's fine." Daichi said. "How much trouble could he have gotten into in three days?"

"I guess you're right." Makoto said. Daichi, Jatsuma and Makoto were now walking home in the early afternoon after school. There were dark clouds hanging overhead that had been threatening a storm all day.

Iikiba had been missing for three days now and it was starting to show in Makoto's attitude. Her usually cheery self was replaced by a much more melancholy version. She had gotten past being angry and was now constantly worrying about him. Where was he now? Was he eating okay? What if he had gotten sick or injured? Daichi had taken it upon himself to try to cheer her up, Jatsuma took another approach.

"Yeah," Jatsuma said. "Who knows what he could have gotten himself into. Plus he's going to be hopelessly lost by now. He might never find his way back."

Daichi glared at him and Makoto looked horrified.

"What?"

"Were you even listening to our conversation?" Daichi asked, annoyed.

"Something about Iikiba being lost forever?"

"That's it! I'm going to find him!" Makoto yelled.

Daichi looked like he was about to say something but Jatsuma interrupted him. "How are you supposed to find him?"

"I…I don't know." Makoto said, almost in tears. "But I've just got to! What if he really does get lost forever?"

"Don't listen to Jatsuma. He's stupid." Daichi said, trying to comfort her.

"Hey!"

"Just give Iikiba some time." Daichi said, ignoring Jatsuma. "Ryoga said it might take a few weeks. So there's no point worrying."

Makoto was quiet for a moment. "I guess." She sniffed.

"Good." Daichi said, relieved. "Come on, we better get going." He said, looking up at the gray clouds. Daichi and Jatsuma started walking up the street and had taken a few steps before they realized Makoto hadn't moved.

"You coming?" Jatsuma asked.

"I…I just want to be alone for a while." Makoto answered. "You guys go on."

"Are you sure Makoto? It looks like it's about to rain." Daichi said.

"Yeah, I'm sure." Makoto turned around and started walking down the street the other way. When she turned the corner Jatsuma looked at Daichi.

"Man, I don't think I've ever seen her so down."

Daichi sighed. "I had hoped some time away from Iikiba would do her some good. But I hate to see her like this."

"Well there's nothing we can do about it until Iikiba comes back."

Just then a roll of thunder sounded overhead and the rain started falling.

"Oh man!" Jatsuma held his school bag over his head and started running.

Daichi ran after him and tripped into a puddle of water. "Wait up!" He yelled as he pulled himself up, but he fell in another puddle.

"Stop fooling around! I'm getting soaked!" Jatsuma grabbed Daichi by the collar and dragged him quickly through the rain.

_ELSEWHERE IN NERIMA_

Makoto sat under a covered bus stop. The rain fell all around her and a cool wind was blowing. "Maybe I should have just gone home." She sighed. Was Iikiba in the rain somewhere? Alone, without anyone to take care of him? "I wish I knew where he was."

Just then there was a crash of thunder and a flash of lightening illuminated a figure in right in front of her. "AAAHHHH!" Makoto screamed and swung her bag at the figure, knocking him to the ground.

It was then that she recognized him as one of Yuri's fan boys. "Oh! I'm sorry!" She said in a panic.

"So' Kay." The disgruntled fan boy said.

"Good thing I thought to use a stand in." Yuri said and her fan boys nodded in agreement. They too were standing under the bus stop cover.

"Yuri Hibiki? What do you want?" Makoto asked.

"I just couldn't help but overhear and I thought I might be of assistance." Yuri said as she slid out of her carrier.

"No thanks." Makoto started to walk away.

"Oh!" Yuri said, as if surprised. "I guess you don't want to find Iikiba as much as I had thought."

Makoto was back in a millisecond. "You know where he is?"

"What kind of sister would I be if I didn't?" Yuri snapped her fingers and one of the fan boys handed her a device that looked suspiciously like a gameboy.

"What's that?" Makoto asked earnestly and she snatched it away from Yuri to get a better look. The screen looked like a digital map of Nerima.

"A global tracking device." Yuri said, allowing her to take it. "With that you should be able to find Iikiba no matter where on earth he is."

Makoto looked at Yuri with narrowed eyes. "Where did you get a global tracking device?"

"It was a Christmas present."

"From who?"

Yuri waved her hand passively. "Some admirer or something."

"Actually it was from me." One of the fan boys spoke up.

"That's right, it was from Spear." Yuri said.

"It's Lance."

"Whatever."

"So this will really find Iikiba?" Makoto interrupted.

"Yes. Just hit the zoom-out button until you see a blinking red dot, that's Iikiba." Yuri instructed. Makoto hit the button rapidly until she had a map of all of Japan, with a blinking red dot on the continent next to it.

"HE'S IN CHINA!" Makoto screamed, startling the fan boys. "How the heck did he get to China?"

Yuri shrugged. "I don't have all the answers.'

Makoto looked at Yuri suspiciously. "Why are you helping me? I thought you were happy Iikiba was gone."

Yuri sighed. "The truth is it has been rather dull since he left, quite boring."

Makoto wasn't buying it. _This was too nice for Yuri_, Makoto thought_. But it wouldn't be unlike her to send me on a wild goose chase through China for weeks. On the other hand, what if she's telling the truth and I ignored it?_

Makoto looked at the tracking device as if trying to verify Yuri's story. "How did you get a tracker on Iikiba anyway? Couldn't he have lost it?"

"It's unlikely." Yuri said. "I implanted the chip in his right back molar a few years ago."

Makoto just stared at Yuri.

"What? Father has one too."

Makoto thought it would be better not to ask. But that certainly seemed like something Yuri would do. Makoto looked down at the red blinking dot. "Okay."

"It was a simple process really." Yuri continued.

"No, not that! I mean I'll go find Iikiba!"

Yuri smiled. "I knew you would."

Makoto smiled back and looked down at the red dot again. It seemed to fill her with new hope. "That's right! I'll find him!" She grinned widely. "And I'll bring him back home!" It suddenly stopped raining and the clouds overhead began to dissipate, as if changing with Makoto's mood.

Yuri stuck her hand out over the shelter to feel the last of the rain drops. "We have such unpredictable weather this time of year."

"Thank you Yuri! Thank you!" Makoto said happily.

"All I want is your happiness." Yuri said.

"I'll find him and bring him back! I'll go right now!" Makoto turned and ran down the street. "Thanks again Yuri!" Makoto waved goodbye as she ran. Yuri waved back slightly until Makoto was out of sight.

"Wow Yuri that was very…nice." One of her fan boys said.

"Yes, I realized that Iikiba wondering forever was a hallow victory if I couldn't be absolutely sure he was miserable, and what better way than to send Makoto after him to ruin his training? Making Makoto happy seems to be a necessary sacrifice to insure Iikiba's unhappiness."

The fan boys stared at her. "Yeah…nice."

"Come." Yuri said, returning to her carrier. "We're late to pick up Father."

_AT THE CONSTRUCTION SITE_

"I'm telling you! He turned into a pig!" Bill yelled. He held up P-Chan so Ted and Wallis could get a better look. Their clothes were still wet from the rain.

"And I say you're crazy! Plum loco!" Ted yelled.

"Maybe you drank too much coffee today?" Wallis suggested.

"He's the pig I tell you!" Bill shook Ryoga around as if trying to prove his point.

"Bkwee!" Ryoga squealed and tried to bite Bill's finger but couldn't get a good angle to do it.

"That's it. I'm calling the Humane Society!" Ted started walking away and Wallis followed.

"Come back you basterds!" Bill yelled.

"I'll take that." Yuri snatched Ryoga away from Bill. "Onward men!" She commanded and the fan boys began to march away with her carrier.

"See! Look!" Bill yelled, pointing at Yuri. "His daughter came to get him! See!" But Ted and Wallis just continued to walk away without looking back.

"Craaazzzy." Ted twirled his finger next to his head and pointed back at Bill.

_TENDO TRAINING HALL_

"Daichi, did Makoto come home with you?" Akane asked as she walked into the room.

"Hmm?" Daichi, Ranma and Jatsuma were all sitting in front of the TV in the dinning room watching some game show where guys in chicken suites were throwing eggs at each other.

"Makoto. Did she come home with you?" Akane asked again.

Just then one of the chicken guys slipped on an egg and fell. The three boys exploded with laughter. Bells rang to indicate the man had won some kind of prize and all the chicken guys started clucking loudly. Akane glared.

"Daichi!" She yelled.

"I'll do my homework in a minute Mom!"

Akane fumed. She turned and kneeled down next to her husband. "Ranma?"

"Yeah?" He said, still looking at the screen.

Akane took a deep breath. "TURN OFF THE TV!" She yelled over the noise coming from the speaker.

"Alright! Alright! Geez!" Ranma rubbed his ear then grabbed the remote and flipped off the TV.

"Ah! That was my favorite show!" Jatsuma protested.

"I'm worried about Makoto!" Akane said, cutting to the point. "She's been really down since Iikiba left."

Just then Makoto zoomed down the hall past the door to the dinning room. She was going so quickly that she caused wind to blow in her wake.

"She seems fine to me." Ranma said.

"Makoto!" Akane ran into the hall and called after her daughter. "Are you okay honey?"

"Fine Mom!" Makoto yelled from upstairs in her room.

Akane looked back at the rest of her family. "What was that all about?"

Upstairs Makoto was packing as quickly as she could. She shoved clothes and cooking supplies into a pink backpack and grabbed all the money she had. Then she changed into a white skirt, blue t-shirt and tennis shoes in record time. She just had to get out of there before Mom and Dad found out, they would never let her go. She would just leave a note or something.

So she scribbled out a note and left it on her bedside table. "I guess that's everything." Makoto grabbed her backpack and opened the window. But just then the door opened and Jatsuma walked in. Makoto ducked down next to her bed trying to hide her backpack and attire.

"I lost rock-paper-scissors so I have to come check on you." Jatsuma tilted his head to look around the bed. "You going on a trip?"

Makoto stood up stiffly and glared at him. "I'm going to find Iikiba."

"You were serious?" Jatsuma yelled.

"Ssshhh! I don't want Mom and Dad to know!" Makoto whispered.

"This is not a good idea. How are you supposed to find him?"

"I know where he is okay!"

"Where?"

"In China."

"HE'S IN CHINA?" Jatsuma yelled.

"SSSHHH!" Makoto put her finger in front of her lips.

"How the heck did he get to China?"

"I don't know! But the point is that I know where he is! So I'm going to find him!" Makoto turned and climbed onto the window seal.

Jatsuma sighed. "Are you sure you don't want to just get a new boyfriend?"

"I'm sure." Makoto said, glaring at him. "And don't you dare tell them where I'm going!"

"Wouldn't dream of it."

"I'm serious!"

"So am I." Jatsuma said, thinking about how much trouble he would be in if Mom and Dad knew he had let her go.

With that Makoto jumped from her window over the wall surrounding the Tendo Dojo and landed in the street. Jatsuma leaned out the window. "At least try not to get into too much trouble!"

Makoto smiled and waved goodbye. Then she ran on up the street, heading for China.

* * *

The chapters are going to start getting shorter after this one. I know for a fact that the next chapter is the shortest in the whole story. ACK! I hate short chapters! They make me feel so…unaccomplished! 


	6. Freaky Amazon Chick

First "big" fight scene! I use that term loosely. Please review and tell me what you think or how to improve.

**FREAKY AMAZON CHICK**

"I'm going to kill that bear!" Iikiba yelled as he limped along through the forest. He looked a complete mess after his near death experience and he had lost his backpack in the fall so he was now completely without supplies. But he was going to kill that panda if it was the last thing he ever did!

Iikiba had managed to climb back up the cliff and was now wondering around in a huff. He was sure this was where he had seen the panda before. Of course, being him, that wasn't much to go on.

But just then Iikiba heard a sound to his left. He looked and saw the incriminating panda a few yards away beyond some bushes and it didn't look like it had noticed him. What luck!

Iikiba ducked down into the bushes and crawled over so he could get a better look. The panda was standing in a small clearing looking suspiciously at a pile of bamboo shoots that was sitting on the ground.

Iikiba's stomach growled loudly, he had forgotten how hungry he was. The panda looked up, alerted by the sound, and stared straight at him. Time to throw caution to the wind!

"Hey you stupid panda! Those are mine!" Iikiba jumped out and landed next the bamboo shoots. But the second he did a net sprang up out of the leaves scattered on the ground and caught him.

"Hey! What!" Iikiba struggled franticly but the net was hanging several feet off the ground so all he managed to do was make it swing around in circles. It was a trap!

The panda grunted as if laughing at him, and then walked off.

"You damn panda!" Iikiba yelled and pulled at the net, trying to free himself.

It was then that he heard someone else yelling. A girl emerged from the bushes and walked towards him, yelling angrily in Chinese. She had a strange appearance, green hair came just below her shoulders and she was wearing an elaborate red and gold outfit.

"Uh…" Was all Iikiba could think to say.

The girl pulled out a sword and pointed it threateningly in front of his face.

"Ah! Wait!" Iikiba yelled and struggled with the net more.

"Stop! You have already ruined it enough!" The girl yelled.

"O…okay." Iikiba was completely confused now.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" She asked sternly.

"I could ask you the same thing!" Iikiba yelled.

She glared and pointed the sword closer to his face.

"I-I'm Iikiba Hibiki! I'm just passing through!" Iikiba stuttered.

"Do you realize what the penalty is for trespassing on Amazon hunting grounds?" She asked.

"Wait…You're an Amazon?"

"Yes."

"I'M IN CHINA!" Iikiba yelled, startling the girl. "How the heck did I get to China? I don't remember crossing the ocean!" He thrashed about again trying to break free.

The girl stared at him, clearly thinking he was crazy. "Stop moving around! Do you know how long it took me to make that net?" She finally yelled.

"Hey, if you're Chinese then how come you can speak Japanese?"

"I have studied it! Now stop asking annoying questions!" She pointed the sword back at his face. "You are trespassing in sacred Amazon hunting grounds."

"I didn't know!"

"And you are ruining my net!"

"You're the one who trapped me it!" Iikiba yelled wiggling around more.

"Plus you scared away my quarry!"

"You don't want that panda anyway. I think it had rabies."

The girl narrowed her eyes. "The penalty is death." She pulled out a second sword and twirled them around with apparently great still.

"Wait! …you."

"My name is Mascara." She said grudgingly.

Iikiba raised an eyebrow. "Mascara?"

She swung her swords.

"AH! Hold on!" Iikiba yelled.

He hit the ground and realized she had cut him free. "Wow, thank-" He had to jump back just then to avoid Mascara's attack.

"I thought it would only be fair to free you." Mascara held up her swords in a fighting stance.

"Hold on Mascara! It's not in me to fight a girl!" Iikiba yelled.

"Then this will be short!" She jumped into the air and threw out a bunch of knives.

Iikiba jumped around to dodge them but one scraped his arm and then another passed near his cheek, leaving a small cut.

Mascara landed in front of him and swung her swords around, but Iikiba flipped over her head and made a mad dash into the trees. "Can't we talk this out?" He yelled back at her as she followed. She threw out more knives which hit the trees he passed.

When Iikiba looked back again he didn't see Mascara. He came to halt, "Where did she-?" That was when he saw her coming down at him from the tree above.

Iikiba grabbed a branch off the ground and held it up to defend himself. Mascara's sword hit the branch and they both pushed towards each other trying to make the other fall back.

When Mascara tried to pull back for another attack, she realized her sword was stuck in the branch. Iikiba realized it too so he pulled the branch back, Mascara's sword with it, and threw it away.

Mascara swung her other sword around but Iikiba grabbed her wrist, causing her to drop the sword. So she tried to punch him with her other hand but Iikiba caught that hand too.

"Ha! Now there's nothing you can do!" Iikiba yelled triumphantly.

Mascara kicked up her knee.

Iikiba fell to the ground completely immobilized and in blinding pain. That was low.

"It is over now." Mascara started to walk towards the sword she had dropped. In a desperate attempt Iikiba lunged forward and grabbed her around the legs, causing her to fall to the ground too. He just had to hold onto her long enough to regain his composure.

"Let go!" Mascara screamed and punched him in the face.

"Give me a break!"

Mascara kept hitting him and struggling with her legs, trying to get free. "I said let go!" She managed to get one leg free and kicked him in the face.

Iikiba growled. "Fine!" He stood up still holding onto Mascara's leg and started to spin around.

"AH! Stop!" She screamed and tried to kick him again as she was spun round.

Iikiba let go of her leg and she was thrown away. She probably would have flown off if she hadn't grabbed hold of a tree limb to stop herself. She stood up on the limb, clearly dizzy. "I thought you did not fight girls!"

"I decided to make an exception!" Iikiba yelled. He turned and went for Mascara's discarded sword.

"No you do not!" Mascara threw out more knives which Iikiba dodged, but he had to overstep the sword to do it. Mascara jumped out of the tree and started running towards him.

Iikiba grabbed four knives off the ground and threw them back at Mascara.

"Aaahh!" Mascara held up her arms in an attempt to block herself, but the knives only caught her clothes and pinned her to the tree behind her.

When she realized what had happened she tried to pull away from the tree but found she couldn't move.

"Ha! Got ya!" Iikiba gloated from a safe distance; there was still the chance she would get free. "So long!" He turned tail and started to run off.

"Wait! Come back!" Mascara called after him.

"I'm not stupid!" Iikiba yelled back, not stopping. He wasn't going to wait for her to get free.

"But Iikiba! You- !" But by then he was well out of earshot. "You defeated me."

* * *

DUH-DA-DUH! 


	7. Happy Reunion

I just thought I'd make a statement. Don't Duke (from Yu-gi-oh) and Koga (Inuyasha) look like they could be twins? I mean seriously, they're like identical! And that's my statement.

**HAPPY REUNION**

"Get your fresh fish here! Caught fresh just this morning!" A man yelled at the passersby. His little stand was set up in the harbor where tourists getting off ships could buy souvenirs and get a bite to eat. It was crowded with people talking and laughing with friends on their shopping day.

"Come now! Only 100 yen a trout! 50 for a perch! This is super cheap people!" He waved a large fish at a young woman. But she sped on by him, giving him a strange look. The man sighed. In hindsight it probably wasn't a good idea to set up his stand next to a McBurger Queen. He glared at the restaurant. Curse them!

"Excuse me, sir?" Makoto walked up to the man through the crowd.

"Hello young lady! Would you like a fish?" He shoved the large fish near her face.

"No." Makoto pushed to fish back to him. "I'm not familiar with the area and I just wanted to ask directions."

"Oh." The man said, disappointed. "You are from Japan, right? Most of the tourists in this harbor come from Japan."

"Yeah." Makoto had spent the last few days taking a long train ride and then a longer boat ride with smelly old people in Hawaiian shirts who wanted to buy tacky Chinese souvenirs. It had been a really expensive trip that left her with seriously depleted savings, but she was finally in China!

"I'm from Japan too." Then man said. "I thought I'd come and make a living for myself selling fish, but no one wants fish anymore!" He glared at the McBurger Queen.

"Yeah that's too bad. Listen," Makoto took out her Iikiba tracker and showed the man the screen. "Can you tell me how far away this is?" She pointed at the blinking red dot.

He looked at it for a second. "I'd say about a two hour drive, don't know how long by foot. But I'm not sure you should go there."

"Why?"

"Well, these are just rumors, but I have heard a lot of strange things happen there." The man said. "People go missing and bizarre creatures wonder the lands." He said eerily. "It really creeps me out."

"Well I have to go! I'm looking for someone."

"I once had a friend whose second cousin swears he was chased off by a monster during a hike!" The man continued. "A huge horrible bull thing with tentacles!"

"Monsters?" Makoto said wearily. "Darn it! I should have know Iikiba would end up in a place like that!" and with that she took off running down the street. "I'm coming Iikiba!" She screamed.

The fish man watched her go. "Strange girl."

_SOME TIME LATER_

Iikiba kicked at a tree then jumped back and started punching it. The tree looked worn and beaten, like Iikiba had been using it to train for days, which he had. Ever since his run in with that freaky Amazon, Mascara, Iikiba had been trying to find his way back to Japan but he still hadn't managed to find any civilization. So he thought he might as well train.

"Hiya!" Iikiba kicked at the tree and used it as a spring board to jump back. He took a few heavy breaths and whipped some sweat off his forehead. _I wonder what everyone's doing right now._

Iikiba sighed. He hated to admit it, and I mean he REALLY hated to admit it, but he was getting kind of lonely out here by himself. Plus he was starting to worry about how he was going to find his way back home.

His stomach growled loudly, it had been doing that a lot lately. Probably due to his new diet of nuts and berries; whatever he could find on the forest floor. Makoto was usually stuffing him full of food.

Iikiba's attention suddenly snapped to his right. He had heard something coming towards him through the bushes and it was getting closer.

"You came back for more you stupid panda?" He yelled. Just then a figure sprang into view and tackled Iikiba to the ground.

"Iikiba! I thought I might not find you! Are you okay?" Makoto said all this very quickly as she crushed Iikiba with a bone shattering hug.

Iikiba was so surprised it took him a few seconds to react. He pushed Makoto away and stood up. "Wha… how…you…HOW DID YOU FIND ME!" He yelled angrily.

"Are you sure you're okay? I brought a first aid kit! You weren't attacked by a monster were you?" Makoto said, still panicked.

"What are you talking about?"

"I heard this area was dangerous." Makoto said.

"Well I was doing just fine till you came along!" Iikiba lied.

Makoto glared at him. "I came all the way to China just to get you!"

"No one asked you to!" Iikiba walked over and stomped out what was left of his pathetic campfire then started to walk away.

"Where do you think you're going?" Makoto hurried after him.

"To find a less crowded place to train!" He stuck out his tongue at her.

"You are so ungrateful!"

"I don't have to be grateful for something I didn't ask you to do!"

Makoto's eye twitched in anger. "That's it! I'm taking you home right now!" She grabbed the back of his shirt and started dragging him back the other way.

"Hey! Wait! I'm not done training yet! I can't go back until I'm stronger!" Iikiba yelled.

"Well I don't want to force you to go! But if you're going to be such a-" Makoto looked down and found that she wasn't dragging Iikiba, but a stick. Iikiba was bounding away. "Iikiba! Get back here you idiot!" She ran after him.

Being much faster, Makoto quickly caught up to him. But Iikiba avoided her by jumping into a tree. "Ha! Missed me stupid!"

Makoto growled. She picked up a rock and threw it at Iikiba. It bounced off his head. "Ow! That hurt!"

"Listen! I won't force you to go home if you just let me stay and help you!" Makoto yelled up at him.

"Forget it!"

"Think about it! I can help you get home when you're ready! And I brought some food! I see you lost your backpack!"

Iikiba jumped out of the tree and gave her a stern look. "I don't want you tagging along and bothering me!"

"I'm not trying to bother you! I'm trying to help!" She said, frustrated.

"You can't come!" Iikiba started to walk away again.

"What's the big deal? Is it because I'm a girl?" Makoto followed.

"No, it's because you're you!"

"Come on!"

"No!"

"Why!"

"I just told you why!"

"You're so stubborn!"

_MUCH ARGUING LATER_

It was starting to get dark out. Iikiba and Makoto were still making such a racket that it was scaring away the creatures that lived in the forest.

"Everyone knows pandas can climb trees!" Makoto said, frustrated.

"It's not that common a knowledgeable fact…thing!"

"ARRGH! This is so pointless!" Makoto yelled. "Let's just set up camp!"

"What? Right here?" They were in a particularly rocky area.

"It's a good area to start a fire." Makoto pointed out.

"I don't have a sleeping bag anymore, remember?"

"I packed some extra blankets, you can use those." Makoto started unpacking.

"Well don't you have all the answers?" He said grudgingly.

"Stop being so difficult!"

"Hmph." Iikiba sat down a few feet away, stubbornly trying to ignore Makoto.

A few minutes later Makoto had a fire going and had a large pot with a chicken in it boiling over the fire. She also had sweet potatoes stuck to the ends of sticks and she was holding one over the fire. It was all starting to smell pretty good.

Iikiba's stomach growled again. He looked over at Makoto who was sitting with her knees together, letting the sweet potato just touch the top of the flames. Makoto looked back at him and he quickly looked away, trying to pretend he hadn't looked in the first place.

"You want one?" Makoto indicated the sweet potatoes she had already finished.

"No thanks." His stomach growled again, betraying him.

"Just eat one."

"Alright already! Geez! If you want me to sooo badly." Iikiba snatched up the nearest potato and ate half of it in one bite.

Makoto smiled as Iikiba continued to eat. She knew this was his own strange way of saying he was sorry. "The chicken should be done soon." She said cheerfully.

"Great!" Iikiba said through his full mouth.

Makoto smiled even more widely as she took the pot off the fire so it could start cooling.

Iikiba watched hungrily as Makoto cut the chicken away from the bone. How long had it been sense he had had a good meal? A week maybe?

When Makoto had finished Iikiba lunged for the chicken leg but Makoto quickly moved the plate out of his reach. "First, admit it!" She said.

"Admit what?" He asked suspiciously.

"Admit that you're glad I came!" Makoto said triumphantly.

"I'm not glad you came!" Iikiba said stubbornly.

"Yes you are!"

"Nu-uh!"

"You don't get any chicken until you admit it!" Makoto said, still holding the chicken out of reach.

"Do you want me to starve?"

"No, I want you to say you're glad I'm here! Or…" Makoto suddenly got an idea. "Or you could kiss me instead!"

"I'd rater die!" Iikiba yelled.

"Fine. I hope I'll be able to eat all this chicken. I wouldn't want it to go to waste." She waved the plate in front of him.

"Give me that!" He tried to grab the chicken again but Makoto pulled it away.

"You have to kiss me first!"

Iikiba looked like he was about to say something else but instead he suddenly grabbed Makoto and jumped back several feet with her in his arms.

Makoto was really frazzled. What had just happened? "Wha-"

"It's not what you think!" He said, dropping her on the ground. "Look!"

Makoto got up and saw that there were several daggers where she had been sitting a few seconds ago and a girl with green hair standing in a tree overhead.

"There you are!" Mascara yelled, brandishing her sword.

* * *

Heh…panda. 


	8. Fiancee DUH!

It's simply not a proper Ranma fic without crazy romances. It's a fact of nature. Like gravity, or toothpaste. Once you accept this balance of nature, you are truly at peace. (Hums like a monk while sitting cross-legged and holding my middle fingers and thumbs in circles.)

**FIANCEE (DUH!)**

"Oh crap! She found me!" Iikiba yelled, looking up at Mascara.

"What? Who is sh- GAH!" Iikiba grabbed Makoto's arm and started running away through the forest.

"Iikiba! Come back!" Mascara yelled and jumped after them.

Iikiba pulled Makoto along as quickly as he could but Mascara was quickly catching up. "What's going on?" Makoto asked as they ran.

"What does it look like? She's an Amazon that's trying to kill me!" Iikiba yelled.

"Please wait!" Mascara called.

Makoto looked back at her then tried to stand her ground, slowing Iikiba down. "I think I can take her!"

"No! She's crazy!" Iikiba pulled on Makoto's arm but they were now completely stopped.

Just then Mascara jumped forward, pushing Makoto away, and hugged Iikiba. "I was beginning to think I would not find you!" She cried.

"Uh…Mascara?" Iikiba stared stupidly at her.

Makoto glared at them. "So she's trying to kill you, huh?"

"She was before!"

"Oh Iikiba!" Mascara took his hands in hers. "I am sorry it took so long to find you. But I was so excited that I had to run home to tell everyone!"

"Er…"

"It is Amazon law! You see, when you defeated me in combat we became engaged to marry! Is that not wonderful!" She smiled happily.

"MARRY?" Iikiba screeched.

"IIKIBA!" Makoto yelled. She was practically shaking with rage. "You knew that Amazon law! Why the hell did you defeat her?"

"I… I forgot!" Iikiba yelled truthfully, on the verge of panic.

"It does not matter! We will be married soon anyway!" Mascara lunged forward and kissed him straight on the lips.

About a millisecond later Makoto pulled Mascara away from him by the end of her hair. "That's my boyfriend you're kissing!" She yelled.

"But I am his fiancée!" Mascara said pulling away from her.

"I don't care what you think you are! He's in love with me! Right Iikiba?" She turned back to the man in question.

"You tried to kiss him before! I will not allow you to force yourself on him you…hussy!" Mascara yelled.

"EXCUSE ME?"

"But he did not want to kiss you! Right Iikiba?"

Iikiba stood frozen, like a deer caught in the headlights. Marriage? Love? Kissing? He couldn't deal with this…he didn't want to deal with this! He didn't want to be here! There had to be a way out! Suddenly something in his head snapped.

"I…I DON'T WANT TO GET MARRIED!" Iikiba turned tail and ran like a bat out of Hades, leaving the two girls in his dust.

A second later Makoto managed to say something. "See?" She coughed. "He doesn't want to marry you!"

"He left you behind too you know!" Mascara and Makoto took off running after him.

But Iikiba was already so far ahead. _How did he get so fast all of a sudden?_ Makoto wondered. Then she turned back to the other girl. "Mascara, right? Look, just stay away from Iikiba! He's not going to marry you! Get it?"

"I promised the council I would bring back my future husband! And that is what I am going to do!" Mascara threw several daggers at Makoto.

Makoto stopped short as the daggers hit a tree, inches away from her face. "Oh! So that's how you want it!" She ran after Mascara and jumped in the air and came down for a kick. But Mascara jumped out of the way, wielding her weapons.

"I will not allow you to come between us!" Mascara swung her sword.

Makoto kicked up her foot and knocked the sword out of Mascara's hand. "Those are dangerous!"

But Mascara just pulled out her other sword and continued attacking. Makoto managed to dodge around her attacks; however she knew that Iikiba was getting further and further ahead every minute. Eventually she found an opening and kicked Mascara away. "To bad for you!" Makoto made a face at her as ran after Iikiba.

Just then Iikiba ran by about ten feet to the left, running in the opposite direction as Makoto. His sense of direction was leading him again. He was still screaming like he was being chased by a horrible monster.

Makoto faltered but quickly changed course and ran after him. "Iikiba! Wait for me!"

If anything, he sped up. She glared after him then picked up a rock and threw it at his head. "I _said_ wait!" Iikiba hit the ground with a fresh knot on his head.

"What did you do?" Mascara ran forward and shook Iikiba. "Honey! Are you okay!"

"Don't call him honey!" Makoto pushed Mascara away and took her place next to Iikiba. "Are you okay?"

"You're the one who did it!" Iikiba yelled.

Makoto sighed in relief. "Good, you were pretty freaked out for a minute there."

Mascara pushed Makoto away. "Do not push me! Iikiba, are you okay?"

"Uh…"

"You are seriously asking for it!" Makoto yelled at Mascara.

Mascara hugged Iikiba closely and glared at Makoto. "You could have injured him! And the night before his wedding day no less!"

Iikiba made a noise halfway between a sputter and a gag. "TOMORROW?"

"Of course."

"No! I can't! This is to do- duh-ah! I don't! Can't!" He was shaking uncontrollably; his face was pale and sweaty and contorted in terror. "It's- to- don't make! ARRH!" Iikiba made a desperate vie for freedom but Mascara had a grip on his shirt.

"What's the matter with you?" Makoto rushed forward and grabbed Iikiba by the collar. He looked like he was about to throw up.

"He is not taking this gracefully." Mascara observed.

"He's just disgusted at the thought of marrying you." Makoto said happily.

"No, he is just nervous!"

Iikiba wasn't sure what was wrong with him. The logical side of his brain knew that he should be ecstatic that a beautiful girl like Mascara wanted to marry him. But the other, much louder, part of his brain was screaming for him to run! Run while he still had the chance!

"I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE!" Iikiba broke free and ran away at lightening speed.

"Get back here!" Makoto called after him. She and Mascara chased after him but he was running much faster than them. "What has gotten into him?"

Suddenly Mascara punched Makoto into a patch of bushes. "So long!" She laughed as she ran on.

"Damn it! You stupid- OW!" Makoto tried to pull herself free but the bush had thorns and her clothes were stuck in it. "That is it Mascara! You are going down! …I mean…you're!" She tugged at the bush and heard her clothes ripping. When she looked back up both Iikiba and Mascara were out of sight. "Damn it!"

Further ahead Iikiba was still running like the devil was at his heels. It felt like he had been running for a long time. He chanced a look back and saw that no one was following him. He sighed in relief. "That was close."

Just then Mascara jumped out in front of him. "AAIIIEEE!" He screamed like a little girl. "How did you-?"

"You went in a big circle." She took a large stick and whacked him over the head with it. "OW!" Iikiba fell to the ground.

"I am sorry! But you gave me no choice!" She grabbed hold of his shirt and started dragging him along through the forest.

* * *

What? Don't you feel at ease with the world? (Hum) 


	9. Amazon Village

Perhaps we're not so different from our parents as we think.

(Dad walks into my room.) "Hey, what are you watching? That Inuwashi?" (I groan) "Inuyasha, Dad! It's In-ou-ya-sha!"

(Later in the car, Dad is listening to a sports talk show. I say…) "So the goat Ramsus runs out in front of the Tar Heels every game?" (Dad groans) "It's Ramses! Ram-sees!"

**AMAZON VILLAGE**

Iikiba groaned and rubbed his head. He had had the strangest dream. He had gone on a training journey to China and Makoto was fighting an Amazon chick who was trying to marry him. Very slowly he sat up and opened his eyes; there was a pounding pain in his head. Once his eyes were open he realized that he was in a cage. "Yuri! What have you done?" He yelled instinctively.

"Oh! You are awake!" Mascara ran up to him. They were outside a house in a village filled with other people, mostly women, dressed in Amazon clothing.

"AAAHHH! It wasn't a dream!" Iikiba screamed.

"Huh?" Mascara raised an eyebrow.

"Come to think of it…why did I think it was a dream? That's not original at all." He pondered.

Mascara figured it was something Japanese that she didn't get. "Anyway, how are you feeling?"

"Not great." He said.

"Aw…well it is okay. The ceremony is in two hours!" She said happily.

'WHAT?"

"Yes! It is all set up just outside of the village! Everyone is so happy for me!"

"How long was I out?"

"All night and most of today. It is about three o'clock."

"AAAAAHHHHHHH!" Iikiba tried to franticly to break out of the cage but the bars were far too strong.

"BOY!"

Iikiba looked around and saw a large burley man with a bushy black beard glaring at him like an eagle would glare at a field mouse.

"You marry daughter?" He asked disbelievingly.

It took Iikiba a moment to realize what he said because the large Amazon's voice was so gruff. "Y-You see the thing about that is-"

"You too weak." He interrupted, looking over Iikiba with detest in his eyes.

"No, he is very strong Father! He defeated me!" Mascara said.

Mascara's father replied to his daughter in Chinese, though he continued to stare menacingly at Iikiba.

Mascara stomped her foot and answered him angrily. They continued their conversation for a minute until her father huffed loudly and walked on up the street.

"What? What's going on?" Iikiba asked anxiously.

"Oh, he just said that if you ever hurt me then he will rip off your head and use your ribs to make a necklace." She waved her hand passively. "I'm sure he did not mean it. That is just his sense of humor."

"Oh, really? You don't say?" Iikiba asked in a very high pitched voice. _I got to get out of here!_

Just then several other Amazon women came trotting up, giggling and babbling in Chinese to Mascara. One of the younger ones pointed at Iikiba and asked Mascara something. Mascara nodded happily and they all burst out giggling again.

Iikiba didn't need a translation to know what was happening. But it made him feel extremely awkward, like he was on display at the zoo. Why did they have to put him in a cage?

"I have to go get ready now." Mascara said. "I will see you later!" She walked off with her giggling entourage.

"Wait! Hold on!" Iikiba yelled, but she paid him no attention. "I don't want to get married!" He yelled and shook his prison bars. "You can't do this to me!"

_ABOUT AN HOUR LATER_

Iikiba had punched and kicked every square inch of the cage, and was very sore for it. He slumped down, completely out of breath. There was no way out!

Just then he felt a sharp tap on the back of his head. He looked back and saw a little kid was poking at him with a long stick. "Beat it!" Iikiba broke off the part of the stick inside the cage. The kid screeched and ran away.

"Still in a bad mood, huh?" Iikiba looked and saw Makoto standing just outside his cage.

"Makoto! Thank God! How did you-?" For the first time he noticed that the streets were abandoned.

"Everyone's at the ceremony, come on let's get you out of there!" She started looking for a lock.

"What took you so long?"

Makoto's eye twitched. "It wasn't that easy you know! I had to get out of the thorn bush Mascara pushed me into! Then I was looking for you guys for a while but couldn't find you! So I had to find my way back to the campsite to get the tracker and-"

"What tracker?" Iikiba interrupted.

"Ask your sister." Makoto sighed. "This is so stupid! I can't find a lock!"

"Well we can't break it open, I tried!"

"But how did they get you in there?"

"I don't know! Just get me out!"

"Calm down! I'm working on it!" Makoto continued to look for some latch or some other way to open the cage.

"Hurry up!" Iikiba look around anxiously, expecting Mascara's father to come charging at them any second.

"You're lucky I'm helping you at all!" Makoto said, frustrated. "'I Forgot!'" She imitated Iikiba. "Pffh!"

"I did forget! And you know what? I don't want your help anymore!" He started kicking the bars again. But his already tender foot throbbed painfully. "OW!" He grabbed his foot. "Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!"

"I think they call that karma." Makoto smirked.

"Shut it!"

"Uh-oh!" Makoto pointed down the street.

Iikiba looked and saw Mascara's father turning a corner and heading for them. "Crap! Hide!"

Makoto looked around franticly for a second and then dove into the house. "Not in there!" Iikiba yelled.

"BOY!"

Iikiba yipped and turned back at Mascara's father, trying to look innocent.

"You come now." He grunted. Then he took hold of the top of the cage and lifted the whole top of the cage from its foundation.

Iikiba just froze, lost for words. This guy was strong.

Mascara's father tossed the cage away and grabbed hold of Iikiba's arm. "Come now."

"Ho…hold on!" Iikiba tried to pull away but Mascara's father was already dragging him down the street. "Don't I have to get ready or something?"

"I help."

_Just great. _Iikiba tried to get away but Mascara's father didn't even seem to notice his attempts. Makoto watched them go from her hiding spot and Iikiba waved his arms at her in a silent plea.

"That's a big guy." Makoto said nervously. She gulped then zipped down to the next house, shooing chickens as she went. Then she continued following them, jumping from hiding spot to hiding spot.

It wasn't long before Mascara's father dragged Iikiba out of the village to a meadow. Where rows of chairs had been set up with an ilea running down the middle where young Amazon girls where throwing rose petals. Older women were setting food out on a buffet table. The whole village was there setting up for the festivities.

"AAAHH! NO!" Iikiba pulled away so hard that Mascara's father wavered somewhat.

"You no get away." He said menacingly and redoubled his grip on Iikiba's arm.

"Iikiba!" Mascara trotted over. She was wearing an overly puffy white wedding dress with a lacy trim. Iikiba could feel himself sweating and shaking. "I thought it could be a western style ceremony. You do not mind, do you?"

"AAAHHHHH!" Iikiba tried to jump away again but Mascara's father held firm. "I don't want to get married!"

Mascara's father leaned down so that he was about an inch from Iikiba's face. "You no have choice."

"Stop scaring him!" Mascara pushed her father back and took Iikiba's hand. "It is going to be okay." She said soothingly.

"I mean," She blushed a light pink. "I know you do not love me." She looked down at her feet, not wanting to look him in the face. "But I think…I think it would be…nice to be married to you."

Iikiba could feel his face turning red. How was he supposed to respond to that? "Uh…Mascara…I…"

Mascara smiled. "It would not be so bad. Would it?"

Iikiba flushed more. "Well…I guess-"

"ARRH! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" Makoto jumped out of her hiding spot. Everyone there turned to look at what was happening. "Leave him alone!" She stomped towards them.

"Makoto! What the hell are you doing?" Iikiba yelled.

Mascara glared at her. "Why did you bother to come?" She grabbed Iikiba in a hug. "Iikiba likes me better!"

Iikiba blushed and tried to push her away. "I…I wouldn't say that."

"Would you stop blushing!" Makoto yelled angrily. Mascara stuck her tongue out at her. Makoto's eye twitched. "Come on Iikiba, we're going home!" She grabbed Iikiba's arm and tried to pull him away but Mascara held him tightly.

"He is not going anywhere!" Mascara attempted to punch her. Makoto grabbed Mascara's arm in mid punch and flipped her over so that she landed on the ground.

The Amazon villagers stared and then began muttering. Iikiba just stared, unsure what he should do. Makoto jumped back and got into a fighting stance.

Mascara sat up slowly. She was okay, but you couldn't say the same for her dress. Part of the sleeve was ripped at the seam and there was dirt on the back where she had landed. Mascara glared at Makoto furiously.

"What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?" Makoto asked.

Mascara stood up and swiftly walked back towards a house on the edge of the village and went inside. Everyone waited for a minute, not sure what was going to happen. Makoto kept up her fighting stance but relaxed slightly. "Did…did she give up?"

Mascara reappeared in the doorway wearing her old clothes and with her swords in each hand. She looked absolutely livid. "YOU ARE DEAD!" She ran at Makoto.

But before she could get to her Mascara's father grabbed hold of her arm, stopping her. "Let me go!" She yelled.

"She strong." He said, looking at Makoto.

"I do not care! She will not take my husband away!"

"Husband!" Iikiba shouted, his fear suddenly returning.

"Who you? What you do here?" Mascara's father asked Makoto.

"Well stopping my boyfriend marrying someone else was on my to-do list!" Makoto shouted.

"What do you mean by _someone else_?" Iikiba yelled. "Like I would marry you!"

"Would you be quiet! Listen," She turned back to Mascara's father. "I'm Makoto Saotome. I just wanted-" But she was interrupted by a series of gasps and loud muttering from the crowd.

"Are you related to Ranma Saotome?" One of the older Amazon women asked.

"Uh…yeah. He's my dad." Makoto answered, wondering what that had to do with anything.

More, angrier, muttering broke through the crowd. People were glaring at Makoto as if they would like nothing better than to attack her. Makoto was starting to get nervous.

"Yes, well…uh." Makoto started to back up and she grabbed hold of Iikiba's arm. He had also noticed how rowdy they were getting. "I guess we'll just-"

"GET HER!"

* * *

Only five more chapters to go! Can you handle it? And just because were further along in the story doesn't excuse you from your review duty, so don't forget to review! 


	10. Chase Scene

Just so you know…To sum it up, Shampoo was the first Amazon to ever fail to marry the man that defeated her. This shamed her into banishment, but it also brought shame on the whole tribe. Mascara is young and doesn't really understand the contempt the rest of the tribe feels towards Ranma for breaking their centuries of tradition. But (As the Amazons can not see) this tradition is dated and doesn't really work in the current world they live. It's like the island nations in the real world who are cut off. The rest of the world continues to evolve in technology and culture while they stay the same as they were hundreds of years ago. This marriage tradition is from a time when hardly anyone ever came to that part of China and certainly not anyone who could defeat a highly trained Amazon. But as you can see, that is no longer true. Even so, as you will see soon in the story, Cologne thinks the reaction of the Amazons is radical. Perhaps there is ANOTHER force driving these negative feelings! Anyway I'm getting dangerously close to spoiler territory. Just trust me in that there is a reason, but it may not be revealed as of yet.

Me: Thank you brain! You may go back to your secluded corner now!

Brain: Grumble, grumble

**CHASE SCENE**

"GET HER!"

"AAAAAHHHHHHH!" Makoto and Iikiba took off running. The whole Amazon tribe was chasing them away from the village. And they were gaining on them.

Then a particularly large Amazon woman jumped over Makoto and Iikiba's heads and landed in front of them, blocking their way. She was carrying a staff with what looked like brightly colored beach balls on the ends. The rest of the tribe was closing in.

"Get out of the way!" Makoto screamed. Iikiba screeched to a stop and grabbed Makoto's arm to stop her too. The Amazon women swung her staff. Iikiba jumped up and Makoto ducked as it swung by. Makoto took the opportunity to grab hold of the Amazon. With tremendous effort, she picked up the woman and threw her back at the rest of the tribe. That slowed them down a little, but they were still coming.

"Bring it on!" Makoto yelled as she took a fighting stance. She was filled with anger and adrenalin. Who did these people think they were?

"What are you thinking?" Iikiba yelled. "Run you idiot!"

Just then arrows started to fall from the sky. They were shooting arrows! One landed right next to Makoto's foot and she jumped back in surprise. "Ah!" Makoto took off running with Iikiba right behind her.

They reached the edge of the forest and kept running. It was more difficult for the large group of Amazons to follow them through the dense forest. After what felt like a long time they didn't see anymore behind them.

"W-what the hell was that Makoto?" Iikiba panted as he held a stitch in his side. "What happened to being sneaky?"

"I got you out didn't I?" Makoto said between deep breaths. She sat down on the ground right where she stood, she just couldn't run anymore. "Why did they get so angry anyway?"

"They don't like your dad here." Iikiba said, remembering what Mascara had said. "Shampoo failed to marry him, so it shammed their tribe."

"How is that my fault?" Makoto asked angrily. "This sucks. Are you ready to go home yet?"

"I've barely done any training at all!"

"So you want to wait around for Mascara to show up again?"

"Iikiba!" Mascara was running towards them through the trees.

"Speak of the devil." Makoto groaned. She stood up and got in a fighting stance, glaring at Mascara. "Go back home!"

"Iikiba, come back with me!" Mascara called, ignoring Makoto.

"Uh……" Iikiba just stared at her, not sure what to say.

"For heaven's sake! He's not going to marry you!" Makoto yelled.

"Let him decide!" Mascara snapped.

"Fine!" Makoto turned to Iikiba. "Well?"

"Hey…hey wait! I'm not getting sucked into this trap!" Iikiba said angrily. "I choose neither!"

"That's not an option!" Makoto yelled.

Mascara just looked shocked and hurt. "So…you really do not like me?" She asked.

"Yes. I mean no! ...I mean…It's just…well I…you're very pretty." Iikiba stuttered.

"Iikiba!" Makoto snapped. Mascara looked ecstatic.

"Wait! That didn't come out right! What I meant was…uh…" He could practically feel Makoto's piercing glare on him. Mascara was looking at him hopefully. Iikiba could feel the panic level in his brain rising. So he froze, a self preservation technique.

"If he was going back with you he would have said something by now!" Makoto said angrily to Mascara.

"You are just jealous." Mascara said smugly.

"Jealous? There's nothing to be jealous OF!"

Mascara smiled at Iikiba. "You are going to choice me, right? You can marry me and leave this crazy girl behind."

"You have not seen crazy yet!" Makoto yelled.

Mascara glared at her. "And I suppose you think he will marry you?"

"Well…someday."

"But he hates you. He likes me much better."

"You know, it doesn't matter what you say! Iikiba is not marrying you now or ever!"

"Yes he is!" Mascara shouted defiantly.

Makoto snapped and threw a punch at her. Mascara dodged by jumping back. They glared at each other, each standing in a fighting stance. But then something distracted them. Iikiba was gone.

"Iikiba!" Makoto called.

"Where did he go?" Mascara asked.

They heard someone yelling further ahead and took off after it.

_NOT TOO FAR AHEAD_

"AAAHHHHH!" Iikiba was running away as quickly as he could. He couldn't take the pressure! This whole situation had him scared to death but he couldn't figure out why. His hands were shaking and he was covered in a cold sweat.

"Why am I such a wuss?" Iikiba asked no one in particular. _I got to get a hold of myself. I don't want to marry anyone. But Mascara is…ARRGH!_

Then Iikiba suddenly remembered something, it was like a flash.

He was sitting in at a table at an after school day care. The counselor was giving direction on how to do the craft they were working on. Then she ran over to stop Jatsuma from eating glue. A little girl asked Iikiba to pass the glitter. He did so and the little girl went back to work. A few minutes later she showed him the cutout picture of a kitty she had made. "You can have it if you like." She offered and handed him the picture. "Thanks!" Iikiba said. Right then he was hit in the back of the head and his face slammed down onto the table and splattered glue and glitter in his face. He lifted himself up and Makoto shoved her own picture in front of his face. "You can take my picture!" She offered. "I don't want it!" Iikiba yelled. The little girl started crying because her picture was destroyed and the councilor came over and put Iikiba and Makoto in a time-out.

Flash

Iikiba was about ten now. He was chasing Jatsuma because he had thrown sand from the sand box in his face. Makoto was chasing after the two of them, yelling because they had destroyed her sand castle. Iikiba looked back at her so he could say something mean. But he tripped and landed in front of the slide and a girl who was sliding down landed on his back. "Oh my gosh! Are you okay?" The girl asked. She pulled Iikiba up and brushed some sand off him. She was very pretty. "I…I'm fine." Iikiba stuttered. Just then he was hit in the head with a sand pail. Makoto was glaring at him. "Ah! What was that for? Are you okay?" The girl shouted in dismay. "Great." Iikiba said. Makoto stomped over and grabbed Iikiba by the ear and dragged him away.

Flash

Iikiba took a deep breath. He was only a few years younger than he was now. He was holding a hand made valentine and looking at his sixth grade teacher. She was writing their homework assignments on the board and everyone else groaned. The bell rang for school to end and everyone scrambled out of class. Iikiba slowly made his way to the front of the classroom where the teacher was packing up her briefcase. "Do you need something Iikiba?" She asked in a friendly tone. Iikiba blushed and looked at his shoes. "I…I," He held out the valentine. "Made this for you." He said sheepishly. The teacher looked a little taken aback but then she smile and took it from him. "That's so sweet. Thank you." Iikiba smiled. "It…it was nothing." Just then Makoto kicked him so hard that he flew into the chalk board. The teacher stared in alarm. "Iikiba you're such a jerk!" Makoto yelled and held up a large pile of valentines. "And after I went through the time to make you these!" She pulled him off the wall the dragged him out of the classroom.

Iikiba screeched to a halt. He wasn't shaking in fear anymore. He was shaking in anger. "MAKOTO!" He turned and ran back the other way.

"Iikiba!" Makoto called. She could see him running towards them. "I knew you would come back!"

"He has come for me!" Mascara said angrily.

Iikiba stopped in front of them. He was radiating angry energy waves and his left eye was twitching. "YOU!" He pointed at Makoto. "YOU DID THIS!"

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Makoto asked.

"Don't play dumb! You…you ruined my chance at romance!"

"What? When I saved you from those crazy Amazons?" Makoto asked angrily.

"No! You made me scared of romance!" He accused. "You did it on purpose didn't you? Well not this time!" he turned to Mascara.

"Ah! So you will marry me now?" Mascara asked excitedly.

Iikiba froze for a second then took off running again. Makoto grabbed hold of his shirt so she was carried along for the ride. "No! I'm still scared even though I know why!" Iikiba cried.

"Calm down!" Makoto screamed as she grabbed hold his shoulders so she wouldn't fall off. She looked back and saw Mascara chasing after them.

"Come back with my husband!" Mascara yelled. She took out her swords. "You will not get away!"

Mascara jumped forward but Makoto kicked her away. "That'll show ya!" Makoto laughed.

Just then Iikiba came to a sudden stop that almost sent Makoto flying but she managed to hold on. "What did you stop running for? She's going to catch us!"

"Look at this." Iikiba said in awe.

Makoto let go of him and looked. They were standing at the edge of a steep cliff. But what really caught your eye was the valley below. It was almost completely covered with crystal blue ponds that were sparkling in the sun. Large sticks stuck out of the water. It looked like a training ground for midair combat.

"It's beautiful." Makoto whispered.

"You know what this place is, don't you?" Iikiba asked with a nervous tone in his voice. "Jusenkyo Springs."

* * *

GASP! HOLY MOLY BATMAN!

P.S. Yeah, Yashi, I know I sent the author's notes to you in the reply. But it came out so well that I decided to put it in this chapter too.


	11. Spring of Drowned Something

Well, break out the candles and cake! It's my birthday! (For real!) And it's not just an ordinary birthday either, no siry! Today, I am 18! Many perks come with this age, like getting a driver's license with no restrictions, being able to watch R rated movies and knowing it's allowed, opening accounts at movie rental stores, ordering stuff online or over the phone, vote for president, I could even go to war! Yep, 18 is an important age. And how am I going to spend it? Well, in the morning I'm going drive all the way to the Science Olympiad to take pictures for the yearbook (this includes tracking down the people from our high school because the event is so unorganized) and have lunch with my parents and sister while I'm at it. Then we're going to get back in time to be at a practice session for Youth Sunday at my church (I'm doing the benediction). Then maybe dinner with friends and come home and start writing the next chapter of this story. The weird thing is that this actually sounds like a pretty fun day.

**SPRING OF DROWNED SOMETHING**

"Jusenkyo Springs!" Makoto gasped. They had both heard plenty about the cursed springs, having grown up with Ranma and Ryoga. But Makoto never thought she would see them.

"We should leave." Iikiba said as he started to back away. "We don't want to risk-"

"There you are!" Mascara jumped out of the trees with her swords at the ready.

Makoto jumped back just in time to dodge Mascara's attack. The sword got stuck in the ground for a second but she managed to pull it up. "No more running! I have you now!" Mascara pointed one of her swords at Makoto.

"Bring it on! I'm not scared of you!" Makoto yelled.

Mascara charged forward and Makoto dodged to the side. Mascara jumped after her and that was when she realized that there was no place for her to land. "What the-! AAAHHHHH!" She screamed as she fell towards the valley below.

"Mascara!" Iikiba yelled as she watched her fall.

"Oh geez." Makoto said nervously.

Below in the valley the Jusenkyo Springs tour guide was making his rounds around the perimeter with a check list.

"Let's see…eel, wildebeest, roach, cat, lark, fish…how does fish drown anyway?" He pondered. That was when he heard a girl screaming and he looked up just in time to see Mascara fall into a nearby spring.

"Oh dear! She fall into accursed, Qingwaniichuan! Spring of drowned frog! Tragic tale of a frog that slipped off its lily pad and drowned in spring 1,500 years ago!" The guide ran towards the spring where Mascara was struggling to stay above the surface. But she got pulled under and a moment later she jumped out of the water…as a frog.

"Ribbit!" Mascara croaked.

"Very sorry Miss! You fall into very unfortunate spring." The guide picked her up. Mascara seemed to be in a state of shock.

_BACK ON THE CLIFF_

"What's going on? I can't see anything!" Iikiba said. He couldn't see what Mascara was with that old fat guy blocking the way.

"She's a frog." Makoto said in a strangely calm voice. Then she started giggling. "Heh heh…she's a frog." She couldn't help smiling.

"This isn't funny!" Iikiba said, annoyed.

"I know, I know…sorry." Makoto tried to stop giggling, she didn't have much success.

Just then the ground lurched forward slightly. Iikiba and Makoto snapped their heads around and saw a crack in the ground where Mascara's sword had been stuck. The fissure got larger and they lurched forward even more.

"Oh no!" Makoto shouted. With a crack their piece of the cliff broke from the rest.

Iikiba grabbed Makoto and jumped off the rock back to the cliff, only just making it. They watched the rock they had just been on fall to the valley below.

"That…was…close." Iikiba gasped for air. That had been way too close.

"Uh huh." Makoto said, very shaken.

"Let's get out of here." Iikiba started to walk away.

"Wait! Don't!" Makoto yelled. But it was too late. "AAAHHHH!" She screamed as they fell.

"Ack! What happened?" Iikiba yelled. The ground was rushing towards him.

Makoto pushed him away from her in the air. "You walked right off the cliff you idiot! I can't believe you lost your sense of direction right then!"

"I…I was shaken! I didn't know what I was doing!" Iikiba shouted. "This wouldn't have happened if you had just stayed at home!"

"Are you kidding me?" Makoto yelled. "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

SPLASH! SPLASH! They fell into two springs next to each other.

"What? More customers?" The guide ran to where they had fallen into the springs with Mascara in his hands. "Oh no! They fell in Gouniichuan and Houzinichuan! Is tragic tale of a dog and monkey who were fighting and pushed each other into springs where they drown 2,000 years ago! Very tragic!"

The water in one of the springs bubbled and what looked like a drowned rat surfaced, gasping for air. It swam to the edge of the pool and climbed out. It was a little black dog with a red bandana tied around its neck. Iikiba looked down at himself, not quiet believing it. He was a chihuahua.

"Come here poochie." The guide whistled.

"Barkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbarkbark!" Iikiba angrily yipped at the guide.

Meanwhile a monkey was climbing out of the other spring. Makoto pulled herself onto dry land and looked down at her elongated fingers and black and white fur. And her tail.

Makoto meant to scream but it came out. "OOOOAHHHH!"

Her cry seemed to knock Mascara back to reality. So she tried to jump from the guide's hands.

"Ribbit! Ribbit!"

"Barkbarkbarkbarkbarkbark!"

"OHH OHH AAAAHHH!"

"Everyone please stay calm!" The guide yelled over the noise. "Don't panic customers! It's going to be okay!"

Somehow his reassurances didn't calm them down. So he bent down and picked up Makoto the monkey. "I take you back to my home, yes?"

"Ohh Ohh!" Makoto struggled to get away and Mascara kept trying to jump away.

"Ggrrrrrr." Iikiba growled at the guide and lunged forward and bit his ankle.

"OUCH! Bad dog! Bad!" The guide tried to shake him off but Iikiba wasn't letting go. So he turned and started limping towards his house with a monkey and frog in his hands and a dog attached to his leg. "I'm getting too old for this."

_20 MINUTES LATER AT THE GUIDE'S HOUSE_

"You be back to normal in no time." The guide said as he ran some warm water into a bucket. Mascara and Makoto were sitting on the table waiting for the water and glaring at each other. A young woman, the guide's daughter Plum, had gotten some clothes together for the new customers to wear.

"These are some of my old clothes. But they are still quite nice." Plum said as she showed the clothing to the girls.

"Is ready!" The guide walked over and poured the water on them and Makoto and Mascara turned human again.

"Quick-dress technique!" Plum shouted. With lightening speed she put the clothes on them.

"That's…useful." Makoto said, still a little shaken. She was wearing a blue Chinese style sleeveless dress with a flower print on it. Mascara was wearing a similar pink dress.

"I still feel slimy!" Mascara whined.

"You change back too." The guide lifted his leg which Iikiba was still hanging from and poured the remainder of the water on him.

"Ack!" Iikiba let go of the guide's leg.

"Quick-dress technique!" Plum did the same for Iikiba and he came out wearing black pants and a red jacket with a carp design on it.

"I thought it would match your bandana." Plum said happily.

"Yeah, that's really what I'm concerned with right now." Iikiba said sarcastically.

"Well now that you all back to normal…how about a tour?" The guide asked.

Iikiba hit him on top of the head. "We don't want a stupid tour right now!"

"Yes we do!" Makoto got up and went over the tour guide. "You can take us to the spring of drowned girl and man, right?"

"That is right!" Mascara jumped up. "I do not want to be a frog!"

"Yeah! Tell us you old fart!" Iikiba yelled at the guide.

"Uh…well…the thing about that is…" The guide looked at them nervously.

"You better just tell them." Plum said.

"What? Tell us what?" Makoto asked.

"Well, um, we don't know where the Nannichuan and Nyannichuan are." The guide said.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU DON'T KNOW?" Iikiba bellowed and he shook the guide by his collar.

"How can you not know?" Makoto yelled.

"AHH! I do not want to be a frog!" Mascara cried.

"I tell you!" The guide said and Iikiba released him. The guide sighed and straightened his hat.

"It all happened twenty four year ago. There was a large battle between the Phoenix People and a group of powerful martial artists. The battle flooded the entire valley and the springs all mixed together. When the waters reseeded…we discovered that the springs had all been mixed up."

"No spring seemed to be where it had been before." Plum said. "It has been a terrible hassle."

"Well you've had twenty four years to figure out where they all are haven't you?" Makoto asked, annoyed.

"It not so easy." The guide said. "There are thousands upon thousands of cursed springs in this valley. We know most of the springs in this region, but still very many that are uncharted."

"So…you're saying you having no idea where the spring of drowned man and woman are?" Iikiba asked.

"Um…yes."

"AAAHHHH!" Mascara screamed. "No! No! I do not want to be an ugly slimy stupid frog!"

"We're not exactly happy about this either!" Makoto yelled. "I can't spend the rest of my life turning into a baboon when I'm splashed with cold water! Isn't there something you guys can do?"

"Technically you're a capuchin monkey." The guide pointed out.

"Dad. Watch it." Plum said in warning, as the three teenagers glared at him.

"Uh…well maybe there is something I can do. But I don't know if it will do any good." The guide walked over to a bookcase and started pulling out books and looking through them, then throwing them aside. "I know I left it here somewhere."

"What? What is it?" Iikiba looked over his shoulder.

"Ah! Here it is!" The guide pulling out an old looking piece of paper that was closed inside one of the books.

"Let me see!" Iikiba snatched away the paper and looked at it.

"Be careful! That is an antique!" The guide yelled.

"What the heck is this?" Iikiba asked. "It just looks like gibberish."

"That would be a map." Makoto said, looking over his shoulder.

"Oh…yeah." Iikiba said after taking a second look at the paper.

"It is a map of all of Jusenkyo." Plum said. "It has been passed down through generations of our family."

"Now we have a digital version on computer." The guide added.

"Of course those are the locations of the springs before they were mixed up." Plum continued. "So it probably-"

"It shows where spring of drowned girl is?" Mascara grabbed the map away from Iikiba.

"Was."

"But at least it is something! We have to at least try!" Mascara yelled. "I can not stand being…being half frog!" She cried.

"Would you please stop whining?" Makoto snapped. "We're all cursed now you know! We want to find a cure just as much as you!"

"But…but you got off easy!" Mascara hissed. "There is hardly a difference between you and your cursed form."

"Why don't you come over here and say that again?" Makoto yelled as she clinched her fists.

"Would you two cool it!" Iikiba yelled and he took the map back from Mascara. "This isn't helping!"

"Look, the best thing we can do is give you this map." Plum said. "You can find where the old springs where…it's a long shot but maybe they didn't change."

"Veeerrryy long shot." The guide added.

"We will have to try!" Mascara said. "Come on Iikiba!" She grabbed his arm and pulled him out the front door.

"Hey! Don't think you're leaving me behind!" Makoto ran after them.

Plum and the guide walked outside and waved them farewell. "So long customers! I hope your search if fruitful!"

"Do you think that maybe those springs didn't change after all?" Plum asked her father.

"Nope."

"Nope what?"

The guide looked at him daughter. "What do you mean, nope what?"

"Well you said 'nope' and I was wondering whether you meant 'nope it did change' or 'nope it didn't change'."

"Look, they are going to be cursed forever."

"Oh. Well that's clearer."

_FUTHER AHEAD WITH THE KIDS_

"Alright, let's see." Iikiba took a look at the map; Mascara and Makoto were walked behind him. "It looks like we're heading north."

"You're holding the map sideways." Makoto sighed.

"I mean east."

"Its west! Just give me the map!"

"Don't start with me!" Iikiba snapped. "I can do it!"

"When pigs fly maybe!" Makoto grabbed the map away. "I'm having a really bad day and I'm kind of mad at you right now! So stop being so stubborn cause I'm not in the mood!"

"Oh yeah? Well…well…fine then!"

"Hmph." Mascara made a sound of discontent. But Makoto had no patience to deal with her either.

"Alright then. We're going west." Makoto led the way and they started walking, winding their way between the cursed pools.

"You know," Mascara started. "It does not seem like you have any faith in Iikiba." She said in an offhand kind of way.

"Mascara, if you want him to lead the way then that just shows how little you know him." Makoto said.

"Alright then." She said while shaking her head, as if Makoto didn't know anything. Then she grabbed Iikiba and pulled him next to her. "Better stay close together. We would not want to fall into another spring."

"Um, okay." Iikiba said.

Makoto growled but decided to continue walking. _Deal with one thing at a time._

After walking for a while it didn't looking like they were making fast progress. Everywhere looked the same in the valley, how does the guide keep track of it? Plus Makoto's level of irritation was slowly growing with Mascara's continued hints that she didn't trust Iikiba.

"I have trouble with…um…directions." Iikiba explained to Mascara.

"Maybe you just need some positive reinforcement. Not _everyone_ will try to keep you down." Mascara answered. She tilted her head towards Makoto when she said everyone.

"Yeah, maybe if I had some _positive_ _reinforcement_." Iikiba hissed in Makoto's direction.

"Are we even getting close?" Mascara asked. "If feels like we have been walking forever. I just know I am going to trip and fall into another spring, this ground is so uneven."

"No one is going to fall into another spring. I'll make sure we're okay." Iikiba said.

"Oh I am so glad! I know you will keep me safe! Because _I_ trust you!"

"THAT'S IT!" Makoto stopped and turned back to Iikiba and Mascara. "I've had it up to here with you! I trust Iikiba MUCH more than you do!"

"Really? Because that is not what I am seeing." Mascara answered.

Makoto growled and looked like she was about to hit Mascara, but instead she shoved the map towards Iikiba. "Go on. Take it!"

Iikiba looked taken aback. "Uh…Makoto are you sure that's a good-?"

"Just take it!" She pushed it into his hands. "There! I do trust him!" Makoto snapped at Mascara.

"We will see." Mascara said.

"Well…okay." Iikiba said unsurely as he looked at the map. "North, right?"

* * *

MAN, I'm a dork! I should at least order something online! Like…like a t-shirt! 


	12. Homebound

Author's Notes Presents

An actual conversation my sister and I had about a fanfic she wrote and posted back in middle school that I didn't know about until a few days ago.

AngelicDemnX: ARGH! I hate that story!

PrincessRose: Really? I want to read it.

AngelicDemnX: No! It's awful! I hate it!

PrincessRose: I'm gonna read it.

AngelicDemnX: No! I don't want you to! I'm going to take it down!

PrincessRose: Don't! I want to read it!

AngelicDemnX: I'm taking it down now!

PrincessRose: NO!

AngelicDemnX: Hmm…Maybe I should keep it to see how bad it was in comparison to what we have now.

PrincessRose: If you're leaving it up, I'm reading it.

AngelicDemnX: You're a jerk!

(I read)

AngelicDemnX: ARH! I hate it! I hope you hate it too so we can talk about how much we hate it!

PrincessRose: I'm gonna add it to my favorites list.

AngelicDemnX: If you do I will KILL you!

PrincessRose: Heh, heh. His friends were like a cold sore.

AngelicDemnX: I hate that! It's not a very good analogy!

PrincessRose: I think I'll use it in my story.

AngelicDemnX: No! It's awful!

PrincessRose: You're making it really hard to read!

AngelicDemnX: Good! I hope you skip ahead so you don't read some of it!

PrincessRose: There! I skipped ahead to the last two lines.

AngelicDemnX: The last two lines are the worst!

**HOMEBOUND**

They had been walking for days. DAYS. Iikiba had long since led them out of the valley. They had covered farmland, wandered through endless forests and even ran into an occasional city. It took every ounce of Makoto's will power not to take the map back from Iikiba and yell that he had gotten them lost again. But it seemed that Makoto was too stubborn to give up on what she saw as a battle of wills against Mascara. At this point it was just a contest to see which girl would admit that Iikiba had messed up. By this time Mascara knew she had made a horrible mistake, but she still didn't want to lose face.

"I am sure we will be there in no time." Mascara said in a fake cheery voice that clearly said she thought otherwise. Makoto just glared at her.

"According to the map we should be getting close." Iikiba said as he held the map in front of his face, not even watching where he was going.

Of course they weren't close. They were wandering through a town district with residential homes and small shops. It wouldn't be long before they reached downtown and got held up by traffic. That was when Makoto blinked and looked around at the houses. "This place looks familiar."

"Does it?" Mascara asked, looking around.

Iikiba peered over the map and stopped walking. "That's weird. This looks like one of the streets in Nerima."

"That's impossible. There's no way we're back in Japan." Makoto said.

"Well then someone has a house that looks exactly like the Tendo dojo." Iikiba said as he pointed towards a house just down the street.

Makoto fell over in dismay. "No way!" She ran down the street to stand in front of the dojo and the others followed. "There is no way we're back in Nerima!"

If it was someone else's dojo then it was a scary resemblance. There was even a panda standing on its hind legs sweeping the porch.

"Grandpa!" Makoto called in surprise.

Genma panda looked back in his granddaughter in shock. 'Could it be?' He held up a sign. 'Akane! Get out here!' Genma waved the sign towards the house. But he roared towards the house as well because the sign (of course) didn't make any noise.

"What's all the ruckus?" Akane yelled from a second story window. "Shouldn't you be out- MAKOTO!" She yelled, having just noticed her.

Genma ran towards them. 'We were so worried about you-' Akane pushed him out of the way as she ran out to her daughter and grabbed her in a tight hug.

"Oh Makoto! I've been so worried! What were you thinking?" Akane let go of Makoto and started examining her hands instead. "Ranma and Ryoga have been looking for you two for two weeks!"

"Mom! I'm fine, I'm…what are you doing?" She asked as she pulled her hand away.

Akane gave a huge sigh of relief and hugged Makoto again. "I was checking for a ring! Oh Makoto! I'm just so happy to see you home and unmarried!" She sobbed.

"Marr- what?"

"Yeah, Jatsuma told us that you had eloped with Iikiba." Akane said.

"HE WHAT?" Iikiba and Makoto shouted together.

"I am confused." Mascara said, glaring at Iikiba. "You are _my_ fiancée."

'That hurt you know.' Genma held up another sign to Akane.

"Makoto!" Daichi ran out of the house as quickly as he could without falling. He was closely followed by Soun. "You're back!"

"Where have you been young lady? You had us all worried sick!" Soun said in his most parental voice.

"I knew you missed Iikiba, but I didn't know you had gone insane!" Daichi said. "You can't get married! You're 14!"

"Would you all just chill! We're not married! We didn't elope!" Makoto yelled.

"But Jatsuma said…" Daichi started to say, and then stopped. "I should have seen that one shouldn't I?" He sighed.

"Well_ someone_ almost got married." Makoto glared at Mascara and Iikiba.

"We are still going to!" Mascara grabbed hold of Iikiba's arm.

"No one is married OR getting married!" Iikiba yelled with an edge of fear in his voice.

"Wait. You got engaged?" Akane asked.

"No!" Iikiba yelled. "She's an Amazon! I…kind of accidentally defeated her."

"But you know about the Amazon law." Daichi said.

"I forgot! Okay!"

Just then Iikiba felt someone push him forward. He managed not to fall and spun around in a fighting stance. Only to come face to face with someone he REALLY didn't want to fight.

"So help me God, you had better still be a bachelor, boy!" Ranma advanced towards Iikiba. Ryoga and Yuri and her fan club were coming up behind him. "Because if I find out that you've done anything to my daughter, ANYTHING-"

"Ah! Help!" Iikiba squeaked.

"Sorry, got to go with Ranma on this one." Ryoga said.

"We never realized you were such a beast." Yuri hung her head in disgrace and her fan club nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, I missed you guys too." Iikiba said sarcastically.

"They're not married, Ranma." Akane said.

"Oh…good!" Ranma said, still looking suspiciously at Iikiba.

"But he did manage to get himself engaged." She added.

"WHAT?" Ryoga and Ranma yelled at the same time.

"It wasn't my fault!" Iikiba yelled as he tried to push Mascara back as she hugged him again.

"Pffh." Makoto scoffed and Iikiba glared at her.

"Iikiba, when you defeated me it bound us together." Mascara said. "Surely you feel it?"

"Uh…"

"Wait…when you defeated? She's an Amazon?" Ranma asked. That got everyone's attention.

"An Amazon? You were in China?" Soun asked.

"You defeated her? Why did you do that? You know their law!" Ryoga yelled.

"You really ARE a beast!" Yuri asserted.

"How the heck did you get to China?" Akane asked.

"We have no idea." Makoto answered her mother.

"Didn't you have to cross the Sea of Japan?" Daichi asked skeptically.

"I suppose they could have fallen asleep on a boat or something." Soun said, pondering.

'Or a plane.' Genma added, holding a sign.

"Well as long as Iikiba didn't marry Makoto." Ranma clapped his hands together and smiled. "He might as well go ahead and marry this other girl!"

"Dad!" Makoto yelled angrily.

"But…but…" Iikiba stuttered. A look of terror was growing on his face. Mascara looked ecstatic.

"Thank you for your blessing!" Mascara said. "You are Ranma Saotome, right? You are not nearly as bad as everyone says."

"What do they say?" Ranma asked with a raised eyebrow.

"It's not your blessing to give!" Ryoga said angrily as he pushed Ranma away and took his spot in front of Iikiba and Mascara. "Iikiba, you need to think about this. Are you sure you want to get married?"

"But…"

"I won't stop you if you're really sure! But you're still so young! Maybe you should wait a few years! You can't just leave me all alone!" Ryoga started tearing up.

"Uh-hem. What am I then?" Yuri asked. The Fan Boys glared.

"Geez, man. Cut the umbilical cord." Ranma said.

"He's almost an adult now. He can make his own choices and there's really nothing you can do change his mind." Akane said as she patted Ryoga on the back.

Ryoga sighed. "Yeah, I guess you're-"

"I DON'T WANT TO GET MARRIED!" Iikiba tried to make a break for it but Makoto and Mascara stopped him before he could get anywhere. "Gah!"

"Apparently he's afraid of commitment." Makoto said as she struggled to keep Iikiba in a headlock.

Everyone was silent for a moment. "Yes!" Ryoga cheered.

Iikiba managed to get free and stood up, glaring at everyone angrily. "I've had it! You all make fun of me, and Jatsuma tells everyone I was getting married!" He turned to face the dojo. "JATSUMA! COME OUT AND FIGHT ME YOU COWARD!"

A few seconds later a second story window opened and Jatsuma stuck his head out of it. "Hey! Some people are trying to take an afternoon nap here!" He yelled, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Oh, it's you guys! You're back!"

"Don't try to act all friendly now!" Iikiba yelled. "You told everyone that Makoto and I were eloping!"

"Oh…uh…you…weren't?" Jatsuma said with a quick look towards his parents.

"Jatsuma, you made us worry half to death about Makoto!" Akane shouted.

"But there's a very good explanation for it!" He insisted.

"Yeah, he didn't want you to know that he was there when I left." Makoto said.

"Makoto!" Jatsuma hissed. "And after all I did to cover for you!"

"Well you did a _great_ job!" Makoto yelled back.

"Well now you're both in trouble." Ranma said. "I don't know what your punishment will be yet. But I guarantee…it will be swift and merciless!"

"If he lives that long." Iikiba said angrily.

"Wait! Can't we talk about this?" Jatsuma jumped out of the window. "I really didn't do anything! Makoto was the one who ran away to China and-YOW!"

Jatsuma landed hard on something and fell down. He sat up quickly and rubbed his head. "What the-?" He looked up and saw that everyone was staring at him in disbelief. "What?"

That was when Jatsuma looked down and realized he had landed on top of a girl, Mascara to be exact. "Ah! I'm sorry! I didn't see you there!" He jumped up and helped pull Mascara to her feet.

She looked into Jatsuma's eyes for a few seconds then turned away, blushing as red as a tomato. "I…I am fine."

"Phew, that's good. I can't believe I fell on such a pretty girl though. Guess I'm just a lucky guy!" He said, smiling.

Mascara blushed even deeper. "Your name is Jatsuma, right?"

"Yeah, that's me!"

"I am Mascara." She turned towards him with a big grin on her face. "And you defeated me!"

"Huh?"

"Jatsuma you just landed on top of an Amazon." Ranma said with a heavy sigh.

"I what?" Jatsuma asked quickly, and then Mascara hugged him. But before Jatsuma could do anything Iikiba pulled him away from her.

"Hold it you player! She was already engaged to me!"

"Shut up Iikiba!" Makoto yelled. "Just let Jatsuma take her!"

"No! He's always trying to beat me in everything!"

"Am I hearing right?" Jatsuma asked. "You _actually_ won a martial arts battle? Good for you Iikiba! I knew there had to be _someone_ out there who was weaker than you!"

"Shut up!" Iikiba threw a punch at Jatsuma, who dodged the attack.

"Iikiba! Please do not hurt him!" Mascara stepped between them.

Jatsuma took her hands and looked into her eyes. "Mascara, please don't get hurt on my account." She blushed even more and giggled.

"Stop that!" Iikiba yelled and hit Jatsuma on the head. "That jerk doesn't need protecting, Mascara!"

"Iikiba I understand that you are jealous. But I have not forgotten you." Mascara said. Makoto grunted.

"How's that?" He asked, annoyed.

"Well you both defeated me, did you not?"

They were silent for a moment. "Come again?" Jatsuma asked.

"You're saying you're engaged to both of them?" Daichi interjected.

"Well…yes."

"You can't do that! Can she do that?" Makoto turned to her father.

"I don't know! Since when am I the expert?" Ranma yelled. "Jatsuma, you are not allowed to be engaged!"

"I wasn't trying to be!" Jatsuma yelled back. "I just jumped out a window!"

"Look, maybe we all just need to calm down." Soun said. "Take deep soothing breaths."

"I guess…things could be worse." Akane added.

Genma held up a sign. 'It could be worse.'

Just then there was a crack of thunder and the rain started to fall.

"We do have such unpredictable weather this time of year." Yuri said as a fan boy held an umbrella over her head.

"Barkbarkbarkbarkbarkbark!"

* * *

Two chapters to go! 


	13. What’s With Two Fiancées?

Cool news! AngelicDemnX is working on a comic for this fanfic! It will be posted on her deviant art page; the link is in my profile.

**WHAT'S WITH TWO FIANCÉES?**

_THE NEXT MORNING_

Makoto tiptoed down the dark hallway, careful not to wake anyone. It was about five thirty in the morning. But despite the fact that she was dog tired and had been interrogated on every excruciating detail of her trip to China only a few hours earlier, Makoto couldn't sleep. Maybe it was the fact that Yuri had bunked in her room with her. It just didn't seem safe to sleep.

Ryoga, Yuri and Iikiba had all stayed the night on Mascara's insisting. For some reason she didn't want to have Iikiba or Jatsuma go to far from her. Makoto could only guess that Mascara wanted them to fight over her, or kill each other.

She crept down the stairs, being careful not to make any noise that would wake Mascara, who was sleeping on a futon set up in the living room. Perhaps a snack would help her sleep.

The hall was dark and deserted, but as Makoto neared the kitchen she realized the light was on inside. "Hello? Is someone in here?" She asked as she opened the door a crack and peeked inside.

"Yes?" Mascara turned to look back at Makoto. She was standing at the stove, stirring a large pot.

"Oh. It's you." Makoto said sourly and entered the kitchen. "What are you doing up?"

"Making breakfast for Jatsuma and Iikiba." She said happily.

Makoto felt a stab of annoyance. "Okay, two things." She said, holding up two fingers. "First. I'm the one who makes breakfast for Iikiba. Second. I don't know how things work in your little Amazon society. But here in Japan you're only allowed to have one husband."

Mascara continued to stir the pot. "I know that. This situation is rare, but it will soon be remedied." She held up a spoonful and sniffed it. Her face turned a pale shade of green and she clamped her other hand over her mouth.

"You're going to poison them?" Makoto asked, looking over her shoulder. The pot was filled with a grayish purple glop that was too solid to be soup but too watery to be pudding.

"Of course not!"

"Then your cooking is worse than my Mom's."

"It is supposed to look like that!" Mascara yelled. "It is part of the ritual!"

"Ritual?"

"Yes, the ritual to decide who I will marry. Soap's ritual."

"There's soap in that slop?"

"It is the name of an ancient Amazon! She was said to be the first Amazon defeated by two different men, and this ritual was created to decide who was most worthy of her." Mascara turned back to her concoction.

"Whatever." Makoto turned to leave.

"Where are you going?"

"Uh…back to bed."

"There is no need for that." Mascara picked up a small gong off the counter and banged it. The _CONG_ was strangely loud and shook the house. Makoto slapped her hands over her ears.

"WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?" Makoto yelled more loudly that she meant to due to the loud ringing in her ears. She couldn't even hear all the pounding, shouts and curses of people upstairs falling out of bed.

"The ritual has begun!" Mascara exclaimed. "Please go fetch Jatsuma and Iikiba for me."

Makoto glared at her and shook with anger. "Get them yourself! You know, you've got some nerve! You try to steal my boyfriend and come into my house and…and ARRH!"

"I am adhering to the laws of my ancient tribe! You are just mad that Iikiba prefers me over you." Mascara said smugly.

"Stop saying that! He does not!"

"Does too."

"WHAT'S WITH ALL THE NOISE?" Daichi slammed open the door to the kitchen. "Do you have any idea what time it is? Five thirty in the morning on a Sunday!"

"Tell _her_ that!" Makoto pointed at Mascara.

"I am just trying to perform a ritual to decide who my husband will be!" Mascara protested after shooting a nasty glance at Makoto.

"Can't it wait?" He whined. "Trust me. I'm the morning person."

"What is going on out here?" Soun yelled as he stumbled out of his room. "Don't you kids realize it's a Sunday?"

"It's not like you do anything on the other days." Makoto mumbled.

Genma followed Soun down the stairs (Yes, he was FINALLY human). "I don't suppose you're getting up to train at the crack of dawn?" He sighed and smiled. "Oh that brings back memories. Waking little Ranma up at dawn to rummage through trashcans for food."

Soun stared at him. "Tell me again how Nodoka didn't sue you for custody."

"Where is everyone!" Iikiba's voice called from upstairs.

_UPSTAIRS_

"This is really bad! I can't tell where anything is!" Iikiba yelled as he stumbled down the dark hallway.

"Iikiba? Is that you?" Ryoga asked. "Follow the sound of my voice!"

"I'll try!"

There was silence for a moment.

"You're going to have to keep talking!" Iikiba called.

"Oh for heaven's sake." Makoto ran up the stairs.

"Iikiba!" Mascara ran up after Makoto and bumped into her at the top of the stairway. "Hey…where are you?" She looked around wildly.

"What's going on?" A voice said groggily.

"Jatsuma!" Mascara called with much more enthusiasm.

Suddenly everyone felt a chill go down their spine. "Why are we all walking around in the dark?" Yuri's voice asked.

The light flipped on and Ranma stood in his bedroom doorway wearing flannel pajamas and looking rather irritable. Everyone stood in random places throughout the hallway.

"What is all the ruckus about?" Ranma yelled. "I'm trying to get my beauty sleep! ...I mean…my….manly sleep."

Mascara clapped her hands together. "Great! Now that we are all awake the ritual can begin!" She grabbed Jatsuma and Iikiba and dragged them downstairs.

"Hold on!" Makoto ran after them.

"What? What's happening?" Akane yawned as she appeared in the doorway behind Ranma.

"Something strange I'm sure." Ranma sighed.

"This should be entertaining." Yuri followed them downstairs.

_IN THE DINNING ROOM A FEW MINUTES LATER_

Iikiba and Jatsuma looked horrified at the grayish purple slop Mascara had just placed in front of them. It bubbled slightly and let off a putrid sent.

"Oh…how…great." Jatsuma said slowly, reluctant to insult a pretty girl.

"It's purple!" Iikiba had no such restraint.

"It is supposed to look like that." Mascara explained. "This is part of Soap's ancient ritual. This sacred ceremony will decide which of you is more worthy of being my husband."

"So no pressure then?" Ryoga asked sarcastically.

"If all they have to do is eat that stuff then Jatsuma's got this wrapped up." Ranma muttered. "He's had years of practice eating garba-" Akane hit him in the back of the head.

"Oh this is just the first part." Mascara said. "They must eat the whole batch." She showed them what was left in the pot.

"All of that? No way! I forfeit!" Jatsuma pushed his steaming bowl away.

"HA! Can't take the competition? That means I win!" Iikiba said triumphantly.

"Wheeee." Jatsuma twirled his finger. "Good for you."

Iikiba glared at him. "Are you mocking me?"

"You can not quit!" Mascara said urgently. "I do not…I mean…it is against the rules!"

"Is it really?" Makoto asked skeptically.

"Yes! Now please eat!" Mascara pushed his bowl back towards him. "Please?" She added, batting her eyelashes.

"Ah…well okay!" Jatsuma decided.

"No way, you just forfeited!" Iikiba yelled.

"Would you be quiet?" Makoto growled.

"I changed my mind. Bring it on!" Jatsuma picked his bowl up, lifted the spoon and took the first bite.

"Hey! No fair!" Iikiba picked up his bowl and started to scarf it down. Jatsuma picked up the pace to keep up with him.

"Wow. Look at them go." Daichi said with mingled disgust and admiration.

"You two sure you didn't fall into the spring of drowned pig?" Ranma asked, appalled.

"Hey! I resent that!" Ryoga asserted.

Akane raised an eyebrow. "What do you resent Ryoga?"

"Ah! Oh nothing!" He laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his head. Ranma rolled his eyes.

Iikiba and Jatsuma quickly finished off their first bowels and placed them back on the table.

"Ugh, how was it?" Akane asked is concern.

"Not too bad, actually." Jatsuma said. "I expected it to be a lot worse."

"I can't feel my teeth." Iikiba moaned as he struggled to hold back tears.

Mascara poured out their second helpings, giving Iikiba a substantially larger portion than Jatsuma.

"Why do I have to have more than him?" Iikiba asked angrily.

"I have to distribute it according to body mass." Mascara answered.

"Body mass? Because I'm taller?"

"Because you're bigger." Yuri stated.

"And that ain't muscle." Jatsuma added.

"THAT'S IT!" Iikiba grabbed Jatsuma's bowel of slop and shoved it in his face. The glop splattered down Jatsuma's front and the floor.

"Do not waste it!" Mascara yelled. She grabbed a wash cloth and quickly began to whipe the purple stuff off Jatsuma's face.

When she had finished Jatsuma turned to Iikiba with a grin on his face and stuck his tongue out at him. Iikiba picked up his own bowel, ready to throw it.

"STOP!" Mascara pushed the bowel back to the table. Then she took the pot and added more slop on top of what Iikiba already had.

"Aw man!"

_MANY BOWELS AND MUCH BICKERING LATER_

"The first half of the ritual is complete!" Mascara announced happily.

The pot was empty and Iikiba and Jatsuma were both laying on the floor in a near coma. The sun had risen and was now lighting the room so everyone could clearly see the ghastly state they were in.

"No…more…purple…" Iikiba moaned.

"Hello Mr. Butterfly." Jatsuma said in a dazed voice, his eyes focused on the ceiling.

"How many grandfathers can say they've seen their grandson eat a heaping bowl of purple slop?" Genma asked. "I mean really? Not many. Pass the popcorn Tendo."

"Here you go." Soun handed over the microwaved bag.

"How do you two sleep at night?" Akane asked angrily. "Aren't you concerned? He's your grandson for God's sake!"

There was shuffling next to her and she glared at Ranma and Daichi, who were looking sheepish.

"What?" Ranma asked with his mouth full.

Akane sighed. "Jatsuma? Are you okay honey?"

"Of course Mr. President, I would love to be on the Supreme Court."

"He's gone." Daichi said.

"Jatsuma, are you okay?" Mascara picked his shoulders up and laid him against her lap tenderly.

"Hey! What about me?" Iikiba yelled angrily.

"You seem okay." Mascara said.

"He is totally faking!" Iikiba accused. "Hmph." He turned away and saw Makoto smiling at him. "Stop looking so smug!"

"Don't know what you're talking about." She said happily.

"Alright then! Fine!" He turned back to Jatsuma and Mascara. "Jatsuma! Quiet faking you retard!"

"Pillsbury Dough Boy? Is that you?" He reached forward and pinched Iikiba's cheek.

Iikiba swung around to punch him. But Jatsuma kicked his foot up first and sent Iikiba through the screen doors into the yard. "AHH!"

"What do you know! I'm cured!" Jatsuma stood up and got into a fighting stance, ready for Iikiba.

"Yeah, I'll bet you are!" Iikiba yelled sarcastically as he picked himself up off the ground.

"What can I say? I'm a fast-" Just then Jatsuma made a face like he had been punched in the stomach and he kneeled over clutching his stomach.

"No one's buying it anymore, Jatsuma." Makoto said.

"I'm not faking this time!" He yelled. "I feel sick!"

"The second half of the ritual has begun." Mascara clarified. "The two rivals must battle. But thanks to Soap's ceremonial meal, they will experience extreme cramps every time they attack their opponent."

"WHAT? WHY?" Jatsuma cried.

"Pass the popcorn back." Soun nudged Genma.

"The idea is to defeat your opponent in as few moves as possible." Mascara answered Jatsuma.

"That's just stupid." Makoto said. Mascara glared at her.

"Well then…Come on Iikiba! Attack me! I'm totally defenseless!" Jatsuma called.

"What kind of moron do you take me for? No way!"

"Then I guess you lose." Jatsuma shrugged. "I never knew you were so wimpy. Can't even take a few cramps."

"Don't mess with me!" Iikiba yelled.

"Then come on!" The pain was starting to subside, so Jatsuma walked out into the yard towards Iikiba.

"You have to attack! Just try to win in as few moves as possible!" Mascara called.

"Yeah! Come on!" Jatsuma flicked Iikiba's nose. Iikiba growled. "Attack. Attack. Attack. Attack. Attack. Attack. Attack. Attack. Attack. Attack. Attack. Attack. Attack. Attack. Attack. Attack. Attack. Attack. Attack." Jatsuma poked Iikiba on the head every time he said Attack.

"YOU ARE SO ANNOYING!" Iikiba punched him away. Then his body twitched like it had been shocked and he fell over in pain.

"Geez. How stupid do you have to be?" Jatsuma jumped back at him for an attack.

"Beware the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts secret attack! The ever annoying Woodpecker Poke!" Soun shouted into a microphone. Jatsuma glanced at him.

"You jerk!" Iikiba kicked Jatsuma away again while he was distracted by Soun's interjection. Then Iikiba wobbled to his feet, still clutching his stomach.

"That was a dirty hit!" Jatsuma protested.

"You're not beating me this time!" Iikiba yelled.

"Iikiba! You do realize that Mascara will make you marry her the minute you win?" Makoto reminded him.

Iikiba twitched badly. And it had nothing to do with the cramps. _Right then? That soon?_

"Hold up! What? You mean…today?" Jatsuma asked urgently.

"Of course." Mascara answered.

"See ya!" Jatsuma began to bound off.

"Stop!" Mascara called.

"You're not going anywhere!" Makoto grabbed the discarded pot that the purple slop had been in and threw it at Jatsuma's head.

Jatsuma was knocked out of the sky and landed in the backyard koi pond. Of course Iikiba was standing close enough to get splashed.

"Barkbarkbarkbarkbarkbark!" Iikiba yipped in anger as he instantly changed to a body a tenth of his usual size. His little Chihuahua body was soaked with water and his long fur was matted against his legs.

"Is that supposed to be a bark or a squeak?" Jatsuma asked, annoyed. Iikiba growled and lunged forward.

"YOW! You stupid mutt!" Jatsuma swung his arm around franticly trying to shake Iikiba loose.

"I do not understand." Mascara said with concern. "The battle should be over by now."

"Guess the ancient Amazons never counted on those two." Daichi guessed. "This could take ages."

"Really?" Mascara asked, surprised. "Hmm, perhaps I should put more thought into this."

"More thought? What does that mean?" Makoto asked suspiciously.

Jatsuma stumbled by, fighting off Iikiba the Chihuahua. "Ouch! Hey! Stop it! You stupid-" Just then his face was hit to the dirt with a long wooden staff.

"Well well, you do seem to have a situation here." Cologne said with a hint of amusement in her voice as she sat atop her staff.

"Cologne! What are you doing here?" Akane asked as she ran out to them, followed by the others.

"I got a tip off that you were having some trouble with an Amazon girl." Cologne answered.

"Who told you-?"

"They were beginning to bore me." Yuri said, shrugging. "So I gave her a call."

"That's…" Ryoga paused. "That's actually not a bad idea."

Mascara ran forward. "Cologne? Head Chief of the Amazon Tribe? It is an honor to meet you!" She said all this very quickly. "You do not know me, I was born after you left, and my name is Mascara. Iikiba defeated me in China and I tried to marry him then but SHE stopped me!" Mascara pointed towards Makoto.

"You better believe I did!" Makoto snapped.

"But when I got here I was defeated again by _him_." Mascara pointed to Jatsuma, and emphasized the word 'him' in a dreamy voice. "But neither of them has won in Soap's ritual. So Perhaps I should give my decision more thought. What do you think?"

"Hmm…" Cologne sat in thought. She seemed to have no trouble taking all this in. "Yes, perhaps you should."

"What! No way! Jatsuma won that fight!" Makoto protested.

"Come back to the Cat Café with me and perhaps we can work something out." Cologne jumped from her staff and led the way.

* * *

Review please, all you wonderful people! 


	14. Cat Café

Well here we are. At the end of my first Generation Fic story. Part of me is a little sad because I really enjoyed this story line. (Even though I did a dance of joy when I finished this chapter.) On the plus side, I really want to write Iikiba, Makoto and the others going on other adventures and meeting new characters. This is the first in a series of stories about them.

**CAT CAFÉ**

_AT THE CAT CAFÉ_

"Order up!" Mousse called from the kitchen as he set the plates of teriyaki shrimp in the pick up window. It was a fairly busy day and Mousse was trying his hardest to keep up with the orders. If he did a good job then maybe Cologne wouldn't demote him back to janitorial duties.

"Can you get that?" Luffa asked her sister. She was busy busing a table and couldn't carry any more utensils than she already had.

"Yeah, no problem." Lotion ran forward to get the order. The café was starting to pick up as it neared the lunch hour. People were chatting happily and rowdy students were there enjoying their day off from school.

The bell on the front door rang, indicating the arrival of a new customer. Shampoo grabbed some menus and ran out to greet them. "Welcome to- Oh! You're back Great Grandmother!"

"Set up two tables Shampoo. We have guests." Cologne said as the group filed in behind her.

"Ranma! Are you here for lunch?" Shampoo asked happily.

"I suppose so." He answered.

"Alright then, everyone who was involved with the little excursion to China or is engaged to Mascara please come with me. Shampoo, please seat everyone else." Cologne instructed.

"Hold on! We want some say in what our kids do!" Ryoga shouted.

"Yeah!" Akane agreed.

"Mom! Come on! I can handle myself." Jatsuma insisted.

"I'm just going to get the whole story on what happened in China." Cologne said. "Don't worry."

"Come on Ranma! Today is our fish special!" Shampoo said cheerfully as she began to guide them towards their table. Akane frowned.

"Oooooh!" Genma said as he looked at the picture of fish on the menu. "I could go for some fish!"

"Yeah I am kinda hungry." Daichi said.

"I read that waste dumped in the oceans kills more fish than actual fishermen." Yuri smirked. "It gets caught in their gills."

"And now I'm not." Daichi sighed.

Iikiba, Makoto, Mascara and Jatsuma followed Cologne to a different table in the corner of the café. There weren't as many people sitting in that area.

"Jatsuma! What are you doing here?" Luffa ran over to greet him. "I thought you were avoiding me!"

"Eep!" Jatsuma jumped behind Iikiba.

"I am not protecting you." Iikiba glowered.

"Jatsuma? Didn't you come to apologize?" Luffa asked hopefully.

"Uh, not really."

"Who are you?" Mascara asked.

"Who am I? Who are you?" Luffa demanded.

"I am Jatsuma's fiancée." She answered.

"WHAT?"

"She is from the Amazon tribe in China." Cologne said before her great great granddaughter got a chance to attack Jatsuma. "He defeated her in combat."

"Oh. I see." Luffa shook with rage. "So you can defeat her." She walked towards Jatsuma, who was backing away. "BUT NOT ME?" She punched him across the restaurant and jumped after him for another attack. The other customers watched in amazement.

"Wait! Luffa, can't we talk about this?" Jatsuma smiled. "You're looking very pretty today."

She just picked him up by the cuff of his collar and threw him at the wall. "AAAHH!"

"What is she doing to my Jatsuma?" Mascara asked, horrified.

"Your Jatsuma?" Iikiba asked, irritated.

"Shouldn't you try to stop them?" Makoto asked Cologne.

"If you want to stop her then be my guest." Cologne continued to the table.

After another glance at the beating Jatsuma was taking, they followed her.

"So." Cologne turned to the three teenagers. "Tell me exactly what happened."

_SOME TIME LATER_

"They chased you out of the village?" Cologne inquired with apparent surprise. "Just because you told them your father was Ranma?"

"Yeah. They had a nasty temper about it." Makoto frowned at the memory.

"It is because of Shampoo's failure." Mascara said, glancing at Shampoo across the café. "She and Ranma Saotome are greatly frowned upon in our village. It was the first time in history that an Amazon had failed to follow our ancient traditions."

"Sounds like a stretch to me." Jatsuma said. He had rejoined them after Luffa had stomped off in anger, leaving him bruised and beaten.

"I agree." Cologne said as she rubbed her chin. "Attacking a young girl just because she is related to the man Shampoo failed to marry. Perhaps I have underestimated the effect that event has had on the tribe."

"Ya think?" Makoto asked sarcastically.

"Look, you're avoiding the point!" Iikiba said, irritated. "How are you going to decide who Mascara is going to marry?"

"Hmm." Cologne sat in thought for a moment. "I don't think we should be hasty. I will need some time to figure this out."

"So what are we supposed to do?" Jatsuma asked.

"You can't just have them both engaged to her!" Makoto shouted. "It's just…just wrong!"

"Actually I can." Cologne concluded.

"Are you all ready to go yet?" Akane walked over to their table looking irritated. "Shampoo keeps refilling Ranma's drink and giving him extra napkins!"

"I think we're done here." Cologne said as she jumped from the table.

Ryoga followed Akane over to them. "Great. We need to get home and clear that hobo out of Iikiba's room." He said.

It took Iikiba a few seconds to register what his father had just said. "What! What's a hobo doing in my room?"

"Sorry, Iikiba. Yuri rented out the room and I couldn't get him to leave because he had prepaid."

"YURI! I am going to KILL you!" Iikiba yelled furiously as he jumped up and stomped towards her.

"What is wrong, brother dear?" She asked.

"Don't play innocent! You…you…"

"If you are going to accuse me of something, at least try to form sentences." Yuri said as she walked towards the Cat Café exit, where her fan club was waiting with her carrier.

"Don't start with me!" Iikiba stalked after her. Ryoga sighed. "I better go take care of this." He followed them out of the café.

"So what's going on?" Ranma came over.

"She's engaged to both of them." Makoto said angrily.

"Still?" Ranma asked. "Is she really allowed to do that?"

"And you wouldn't know anything about having multiple fiancées?" Akane rolled her eyes. Ranma just glared at her.

Mascara sighed. "Well…I suppose I am staying with you!" She said excitedly to Jatsuma.

"Forget it!" Makoto quickly dismissed that idea.

"Mascara, maybe it would be better if you stayed here." Akane said, trying to sound diplomatic.

"Here?" She looked around questioningly.

"That would probably be for the best." Cologne agreed. "Until we can figure out what you should do."

"Well…I uh…"

"Lotion! Luffa!" Cologne called. A few second later the girls came walking up. Luffa glared at Mascara.

"Please show this girl our extra room. She will be staying with us for a little while." Cologne said.

"What?" Luffa gasped.

"Okay!" Lotion ran forward and took Mascara's arm and started dragging her towards the back area. "You're a real Amazon, right? What are your views on their outdated laws?"

"Uh…"

Luffa followed them with a furious expression on her face.

"Are you staying for dessert?" Shampoo asked as she walked towards them.

"We were just leaving." Akane said as she grabbed Ranma's wrist and started walking towards the exit.

"Akane, you're cutting off my circulation." Ranma cringed as they walked out the door.

"We wouldn't mind staying for dessert!" Soun called to get Shampoo's attention. He, Genma and Daichi were still sitting at their table.

"You two are going to give yourselves heart attacks if you keep eating like this." Daichi gaped at their already empty plates.

"Boy, this is our first non Akane meal in over a week." Genma said as he took another bite of chicken.

"Point taken."

"Well I'm out of here." Jatsuma said, not wanting another run in with Luffa. He took off for the exit after his parents.

"Yeah, me too." Makoto muttered. She was still angry at Cologne for her decision. She followed Jatsuma off.

Cologne watched them go, and then walked to the door leading into the back of the café where the kitchen was.

"Order up!" Mousse called again. "Huh? Where did they go?" He looked around for his daughters through the window into the dining area.

"You have to deliver it yourself. They busy now." Shampoo told him.

"What are they-"

"Would you just do it?" Cologne interrupted.

"Alright, alright! Geez!" Mousse picked up the order and walked out to deliver it to the customers.

Shampoo turned back to Cologne. "You think it good idea to have Mascara stay here?"

"I'd have rather she stayed elsewhere. I'm not looking forward to Luffa's tantrum over this." Cologne sighed. "But it is my duty as head of the Amazons to look after her."

She turned back to her great granddaughter. "But something bothers me."

"What that, Great Grandmother?" Shampoo asked.

"The Amazons' reaction to Makoto. It is just one in a series of events that I have heard of regarding the tribe. It makes me leery of how they are taking your banishment."

"But I did try! But Ranma and Akane just…just-"

"I know. I know." Cologne said wearily. She was silent for a moment. "Perhaps it is time I paid a visit to China."

_BACK AT THE DOJO_

"Man, when Dad said he was going to punish us I was expecting it to be a lot worse." Jatsuma said as he kicked the air. He and Makoto were wearing white training uniforms and running martial arts drills in the dojo.

"Yeah, just kick, punch, kick. Nothing to it." Makoto agreed.

"Pick up the pace!" Ranma said happily. "Your punishment hasn't begun yet!"

Just then the door to the dojo opened and a scrawny boy with short black hair tied in back, who was also wearing a training outfit, walked in. "I'm here Sensei! Now class can start!"

"Now it has." Ranma said smugly.

Jatsuma's eyes widened at the sight of Kiyoshi. _It's that little freak!_ "You are heartless!" He shouted at his father.

Kiyoshi gasped. "Makoto! You're here!" He rushed over to her and stood uncomfortably close.

Makoto groaned. "Hi Kiyoshi." She leaned away to keep some distance between them.

He laughed in a nasally sound. "You are as beautiful as ever. You have Sensei's nose."

"That's…great." Makoto said, her eye twitching.

"Keep running your drills!" Ranma instructed, his own eye twitching.

About a second later… "No Jatsuma! You're doing it wrong!" Kiyoshi said in exasperation. "You're shifting all your aura instead of your weight! Honestly, that is an amateurish mistake!"

Jatsuma glared at him. "It's fine. You can do it this way."

Kiyoshi laughed again. "If you say so. Just don't get me started on your defensive positions!" He laughed like it had been a great joke.

"You know, Makoto is standing the same way." Jatsuma pointed out.

"No she isn't!" Kiyoshi leaned towards Makoto. "She's perfect. Don't insult her!" He clapped his hands together. "Now keep practicing! You have a LONG way to go!"

"I'll show who's got a long way to go you little freak." Jatsuma mumbled under his breath. Then he turned back to Ranma. "I'll never forgive you!"

"Hey! I have to put up with this every day!" Ranma said.

"At least he likes you."

"Just shut up and keep training."

* * *

:sniff: I promised myself I wouldn't cry.

Be sure to check back in a week or so to see the continuation of this story.

Thank you to everyone who has read my story and the people who keep going! It's all about getting your ideas out there for everyone to see! Not everyone will like them, but you can't expect them too. Just keep going in the hopes that someone will see things the way you do. If I only made one person laugh, taking the time and effort to write this story was worth it! Never let in anyone tell you to stop writing a story you yourself enjoy.

Dare to be creative. What you will find will be wonderful. What you will find will be yourself.

-My Mom


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